The Biggest Disappointments of 2017

Oh hai, guys. Today we're talking about the most disappointing films I saw in 2017. Ugh. Keep in mind these are the disappointing films, which does not equate to worst movies of the year. Don't worry, though. That one's coming. This list is a list of films that I really wanted to be good, and had high hopes for, but sadly didn't meet those expectations. So, without further ado, let's talk about sadness and stuff!

For my reviews of each of these films, click on the movie poster.

(Dis)Honorable Mention: The Fate of the Furious

Kicking off this list is The Fate of the Furious. A lot of people give this franchise a lot of crap, but until the latest installment, they really did manage to keep getting better and better. Who cares about their incoherent timeline? Or the fact that these guys started off as street racers and by the later films are pulling off absurd heists? These films are not meant for that kind of analyzation. I mean, this is a world that has a 20+ mile runway, after all. But this franchise is at the pinnacle of the "popcorn flick"' genre, and Furious 7 was just another example of that. While there are a TON of fun scenes throughout this movie (like the amazing prison break sequence, which landed in my favorite movie moments of 2017) it did also spend a ridiculous amount of time trying to convince us that Vin Diesel would actually turn on his crew. After all, his crew is his FAMILY. You don't turn your back on FAMILY. But, we all know Diesel is going to remain a good guy, so why bother? Sadly, far too much of this film is wasted on Vin Diesel's pointless subplot, and it also asks him to actually act, so....yikes. Not good. But, on the flipside, at least this film did give us the bromance we needed between The Rock and Jason Statham. Sooner or later someone will put those two in their own film. Also, there is a lot of objectification of women here, (nothing new for this franchise unfortunately) so this movie has aged QUICKL in 2017. But, zombie cars, dude! Freaking zombie cars! And a submarine chase sequence! And Charlize Theron being a menacing villain! Still a lot to like here. You know what you're getting with this franchise, and I still had fun watching this installment. Just....not as much fun as I would've liked.

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5) mother!

You will not see this anywhere near my worst films of 2017 list, but I needed to talk about it somewhere so here it is. I really respect the great director Daren Aronofsky for making what he wanted to make with this film, damn the studio heads. He makes a balls-to-the-wall nuts Bible allegory that's already being analyzed into the ground. BUT. It doesn't change the fact that this movie is VERY weird and ambiguous, and a tough watch for the vast majority of people, if they watch it at all. Being an unapproachable film isn't a bad thing, but when a movie nut like me is going, "Whoa, dude. Maybe tone it down a little," imagine how most people would feel. And there's a REAL fine line between ambiguity and laziness in writing. Because "I want the viewer to interpret the ending for themselves." can VERY easily mean, "I have no idea what I'm doing, so let's just call it a day." I don't know which world Aronofsky falls into here, but I guess I'll just leave that up to the reader to decide. (Ahaha) 

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4) Bright

So, unlike the rest of the films on this list, you will find Bright on my Worst Movies of 2017 list. I'll just spoil that now. Because this thing is AWFUL. Here, it doesn't find itself higher on this list because I didn't really have high expectations in the first place. I was marginally excited when I heard this was to be Netflix's most expensive film, and sure, I was expecting (at least) a decent sci-fi flick with a somewhat interesting world with lore ready to be developed, but all of that is relatively standard for a new big-budget sci-fi movie. However, what we got was a disaster. I'll talk more about this film on my worst of list, but for now I'll just say....why the actual F is Netflix wasting precious resources on a sequel to this movie????? The lore isn't interesting, the acting is bad, and the CGI is awful. Sure, there's a lot of buzz around it, but I don't think even someone like Denis Villeneuve could save this franchise. Ok, maybe he could because he's Denis Villeneuve, but it would be difficult even for him. Also, I just gotta say.... if you think Bright is a good movie, but hate The Fast and the Furious franchise because of its lazy writing, I urge you to go home and rethink your life. Because this film has the laziness of The Fast and Furious franchise, but it's sci-fi. At least The Fast and Furious has enjoyable action setpieces to compliment its lackluster writing. This has...... Will Smith. Yeah!!

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3) Alien: Covenant

You knew this one was coming! (It is the cover photo, after all) But, if you somehow don't know, I freaking love the Alien franchise. The first couple of installments in this franchise are pillars of the genre, but unfortunately it's been well over two decades since we got the last Alien movie that was even remotely worthwhile. This one was somewhat interesting, if not just for the fact that we actually got freaking Xenomorphs this time around, and Katherine Waterston was the hero this franchise needs in its lead role, but....man! The lore here is just sooooo bad. I think Ridley Scott is the single most overrated director in Hollywood. By far. There. I said it. So, giving him complete creative control over the Alien franchise was not even remotely a good idea on Fox's part. Whenever the film stopped to try and explain anything, all I wanted to do was yell at the screen in frustration. The Xenomorphs deserve a better origin story, man! When Disney finished its acquisition of Fox, it quickly announced that the third installment in this prequel franchise was cancelled, and I can hardly say I blame them. Ridley Scott was driving it into the ground with nothing but disappointing films. Hopefully the Mouse Castle will announce a reboot of the franchise, and put a FAR better director at the helm to move this world in a better direction. Hey, speaking of Denis Villeneuve.... you want to take a crack at this franchise while you're not making a masterful sequel to ​Blade Runner? Please?

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2) VALERIAN AND THE CITY OF A THOUSAND PLANETS

Ya! Let's keep the sadness going! Next up on the list is Valerian, the latest from visionary sci-fi director Luc Besson. Unfortunately, Besson is very hit-and-miss with his movies, and Valerian can be described as a pretty solid miss. Yes, its visuals are simply breathtaking, (I am still somewhat disappointed that it didn't get any love in the visual effects category from the Academy, but that category is a head-scratcher already) but the second you try and think about it at all, it falls apart. And its leads are soooooo bad. I love Dane DeHaan. He's been great before, and he will be again. But my GOD is he miscast here. He's just....bad, and its depressing. Delevingne is at least a little better, but SO much of this film is just the two of them, and when your leads are bad....it's tough for a film to really recover. They also have some BAD writing from Besson, which doesn't exactly help things. Ugh! When a film looks THIS gorgeous, how do you screw everything else up so much??

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1) Logan Lucky

This movie takes the cake on this list for a number of reasons. The film itself is....fine. But, given the fact that it brought the GREAT Steven Soderbergh out of retirement, and it's merely an average film that did it.....it had to be the most disappointing film of 2017. To add the icing to this unfortunate cake, Soderbergh insisted on having complete control over every aspect of this film, including its marketing campaign. Unfortunately, the movie flopped in epic fashion in America, as it required its foreign box office take just to make back its budget. While I think most of the issues behind the flop can be attested to Hollywood trying to appeal to a demographic that thinks Hollywood is nothing but a bunch of leftist jerks, (though people smarter than I blame the marketing campaign itself) as well as the fact that this film features a heist surrounding a rapidly dying racing industry, but the REALLY unfortunate side effect (and why its number 1 on this list) is the lasting effect this flop will have on studio executives. Summer blockbusters are slowly going the way of the "AAA" gaming industry where every film is an "everything or nothing" business, and so the next time a prominent filmmaker goes to a studio and asks for complete control of a new film he's making, those executives will almost certainly refer back to the "failure" of Logan Lucky as Exhibit A for why that's a bad idea. Is this an alarmist idea? Certainly. And there will always directors given complete creative control in the indie world. And guys like Steven Spielberg and James Cameron will always be allowed to do their own thing with a blank check. But, the more films like this and something like Blade Runner 2049 are considered "box office busts" (even though the later still netted over $100 million thanks to its worldwide gross) the harder it's going to be for new directors to break into the world of the summer blockbuster without everything being tightly controlled by a bunch of guys in suits that use focus groups to determine every aspect of their big budget film. After all these are the same suits that tried to cut out one of the best sequences in Wonder Woman. I haven't talked much about the movie Logan Lucky itself. Its fine. I think I was a little too harsh on it because I had high expectations for the latest from Soderbergh, but I was disappointed by it. However, my personal thoughts are trivial compared to the far-reaching implications the failure of this film will have at major studios around the country. Sigh.......

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Hope you guys enjoyed my look back at the most disappointing films of 2017! I'll be back again with a favorite of mine - the best films no one saw.Till next time!

Image Credit
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