Quick Reviews, Winter 2019: Velvet Buzzsaw, High Flying Bird, Gloria Bell, Dumbo, Shazam!

Velvet Buzzsaw

Velvet Buzzsaw (2019): A supernatural force sets out to exact revenge against art profiteers attempting to exploit a series of paintings by an unknown artist.

There's something to be said about throwing everything and the kitchen sink against the wall and seeing what sticks. But, somewhere among the weeds, there's a line. Velvet Buzzsaw blooooows through any semblance of unspoken line and creates a wildly incoherent yet awkwardly enjoyable horror flick from writer/director Dan Gilroy. (Who last teamed up with star Jake Gyllenhaal in the criminally underappreciated Nightcrawler.) This movie is just that: wild. I can't help but respect Netflix for allowing a premise this absurd and executed in such an unorthodox manner to even be made. Maybe some will say this film is ahead of its time. Buuuuuuut I'm not one of them. Is it a statement about the hilariously elitist art world? Is it a film about a critic struggling with his own acceptance and place in the very world he critics? An artist struggling with staying inventive while keeping his alcoholism at bay? A gallery owner's desperate attempts to stay relevant while fighting a vendetta with a competitor? WHO THE F CARES BECAUSE THESE PAINTINGS KILL PEOPLE. If you go in looking for a mindless popcorn flick disguised as a pseudo-horror movie, you probably won't be disappointed. But that's about the only thing you should be looking for when you add Velvet Buzzsaw to your Netflix queue.

​My Number: (A wild) 5/10

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High Flying Bird

High Flying Bird (2019): A sports agent pitches a rookie basketball client on an intriguing and controversial business opportunity during a lockout.

​Steven Soderbergh does it again! The director of Ocean's Eleven returns to the roots of his Sex, Lies, and Videotape debut with a stirring character drama wrapped up in the 2011 NBA lockout, shot entirely on iPhones because why not? If it worked in Unsane it'll work here, right? Well Soderbergh and his team have been perfecting this low budget iPhone shooting method and it continues to get better, even if it is admittedly distracting at times. But the writing is the foundation here. The script is great, painting a compelling picture of lead character Ray Burke, (André Holland) and a terrific leading cast help make this film as engaging as it is interesting. While the cinematography is distracting at times, the Netflix factor plays in well here, thanks to the fact that you'll be watching this on a smaller screen. No doubt watching this on a big screen would be a detriment to the experience. Also, I love Zazie Baetz. She's wonderful and really needs to be in everything. TL;DR - if you like basketball or really any movies about sports and the behind-the-scenes business maneuvers that take place in that realm, move High Flying Bird to the top of your Netflix queue.

My Number: 7/10

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Gloria Bell

Gloria Bell (2019): A free-spirited woman in her 50s seeks out love at L.A. dance clubs.

Gloria Bell is not a flashy film. But it accomplishes exactly what it sets out to do. A charming little rom-com that's a vehicle for Julianne Moore to remind us all that she's absolutely lovely. Director Sebastian Lelio (director of A Fantastic Woman and ironically is remaking is own film here for American audiences) hits every single note you want to see hit in an indie film that takes absolutely zero risks throughout its 104 minute runtime. Gloria is a strong female lead, and she's played by the always wonderful Julianne Moore. But….. I'm struggling to figure out why this film exists. As I mentioned before, director Sebastián Lelio is remaking his own 2013 film Gloria, so I'm a little confused why this remake is coming so quickly afterwards. And from the same person. And, throughout the 102 minute runtime, this question was never really answered. Yes, it's lovely. Yes, it's great to see a rom-com with a middle aged woman as its lead, but there doesn't seem to be much rhyme or reason to why this film exists beyond that. It's a nice date night film to watch on Netflix from the comfort of your own home, but that's about it.

My Number: 6/10

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Dumbo

Dumbo (2019): A young elephant, whose oversized ears enable him to fly, helps save a struggling circus, but when the circus plans a new venture, Dumbo and his friends discover dark secrets beneath its shiny veneer.

So I've largely avoided these live action Disney remakes, and after making an exception for Tim Burton's Dumbo…. I can see why. This soulless film is a grim reminder that the once prestigious filmmaker left his talent back in the 90s. Dumbo tells the classic Disney story with little additional substance, and I found myself struggling to grapple with the very question of its existence. The entire cast was #InItForThePaycheck, with the notable exception of Collin Farrell, who actually can't help but be good in everything he's in. The film fumbles its way from one poorly-lit scene to the next, with its many Tim Burton-isms unwelcomed at best and downright disruptive at worst. I also had the displeasure of watching this film in 3D and was painstakingly reminded why it's a TERRIBLE way to watch a film. The additional depth of field does little to offset the headaches created by the 3D glasses and effects as your eyes have to squint at times just to try and understand what's on screen. I think the 3D also affected the lighting as the film seemed to be unnecessarily dark. Could've just been bad lighting, but I don't know for sure. Either way, the only thing that saved this for me was the company I watched the film with. And thank God for that, because otherwise I don't think I would've made it through. Avoid like the plague!

My Number: 3/10

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Shazam! (2019): We all have a superhero inside us, it just takes a bit of magic to bring it out. In Billy Batson's case, by shouting out one word - SHAZAM. - this streetwise fourteen-year-old foster kid can turn into the grown-up superhero Shazam.

So, here's a surprising thing I noticed about halfway through Shazam!: I was having a good time. DC has been on an under-the-radar (and shockingly) solid run with its standalone films recently, and Shazam! (mostly) keeps that trend going. Its villain is hilariously forgettable outside of the fact that it's Mark Strong being Mark Strong, and the arc for the main character is a bit fluffy with an overly convenient resolution, but its lighthearted nature and genuinely funny jokes make it feel more like a decent comedy with fighting than an action flick. While I'll still go for Aquaman or Wonder Woman if I had to pick a recent DC standalone film, I still found myself having a good time with this one. Maybe it's partially because I had absolutely zero expectations for this film. Heck, I was bracing for the worst, actually. But Zachary Levi's playful, entertaining performance as the title hero really kept me in this throughout the runtime. Which was needed because this villain was HILARIOUSLY awful: a single moment in the character's life meant to justify his entire cornerstone for being. It's not good, and Mark Strong phones it in with his stereotypical British villain portrayal. I did enjoy the foster home aspect and the rest of the family's relationship to Billy Baston, which felt a little Shoplifters-esque to me, (now the cornerstone for any family-oriented film) but the film plays out almost exactly how you'd expect it to. And by the end you still find yourself watching two god-like beings battle each other to a pulp, just in the air instead of with a ridiculous amount of CGI-lightning. But.... there are definitely worse ways to spend your time at the movies right now.

My Number: 6/10

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