Quick Reviews, Fall 2019, Part 1: Judy, Joker, The Laundromat, Zombieland: Double Tap, Countdown

Judy

Judy (2019): Legendary performer Judy Garland arrives in London in the winter of 1968 to perform a series of sold-out concerts.

I Love. This. Movie. It's everything I ever wanted in a Judy Garland biopic. A fascinating look into the psyche of one of the most iconic, albeit flawed, individuals of the 20th century. Renee Zellweger shines in the title role behind a film that doesn't do anything more than it needs to do to make you ball by the end. Fair warning: you will rock the ugly cry at the end of this film. Because the story of Judy Garland is a flawed and tragic one. One which gives some of her most iconic songs new meaning. This film is absolutely devastating to watch unfold, yet you're constantly rooting for Judy to find her inner voice and overcome the adversity. And it's all wrapped up in a mesmerizing performance from Renee Zellweger. The versatile actress is completely sucked into the iconic performer, with every facet of Judy's character noted and treasured by Zellweger. It is, admittedly, a showy performance, but it's a demanding one nonetheless. With an absolutely wonderful ending that will make you cry like a baby. Everyone in the theater was. Go see it.

My Number: 8.5/10

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Joker

Joker (2019): In Gotham City, mentally-troubled comedian Arthur Fleck is disregarded and mistreated by society. He then embarks on a downward spiral of revolution and bloody crime. This path brings him face-to-face with his alter-ego: "The Joker".

Ahhhhh, we meet again. The classic definition of, "It's fine." Yes, Joker has its good moments, with a very showy performance from its lead, but it's wrapped up in an overtly pretentious film that really can't decide whether it's condemning or celebrating its villainous lead. Look. Joaquin Phoenix is great. There's no denying that. But the "fine line" this film rides is rather ... uncomfortable. I'm not asking for a Joker film that overtly condemns its title character. I just wish there weren't as many blatant and uncomfortable hero imagery moments.  That aside, the film is good. The writing is sharp and Joaquin is great. But that's really all this film has going for it. Sure, it sheds some light on mental illness. And that's great. But do we really need that? I mean, this is supposed to be a film that shows the transformation of a man into the Joker. But it really feels like he's basically the Joker from the first moment of this film. The "transition" is basically taken for granted. All of this to say….. it's fine.

My Number: 5/10

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The Laundromat

The Laundromat (2019): In this The Big Short (2015)-esque dramedy based on the Mossack Fonseca scandal, a cast of characters investigate an insurance fraud, chasing leads to a pair of a flamboyant Panama City law partners exploiting the world's financial system.
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And then there's a film that simply has no idea what it wants to be. The latest from the great Steven Soderbergh and his second forray with Netflix this year, (his previous film, High Flying Bird, was outstanding and pushed the limits of convention with his iPhone cinematography) The Laundromat is an unfortunate misfire that has absolutely zero semblance of pacing, a completely incoherent plot, erratic and inconsistent performances, and is just an overall mess. Seriously. Scenes that seemingly have zero relevance drone on for 15 minutes at a time, held together loosely by shoddy narration from Gary Oldman / Antonio Banderas. UGH. That reminds me that these two are paired together, and I LOVE THAT. But…. They're…. Just….. Bad! I don't know what they are doing or trying to portray with these characters. To be fair, the lackluster writing behind them did them no favors, but their transitions from narrators to characters to narrator-charactors was extraordinarily tough to follow and understand. Also, their extremely distracting screen-chewing didn't do them any favors, either. The cavalcade of stars are fun to watch pop up, but, outside of Meryl Streep, (have you ever seen a bad performance from Meryl Streep?) their characters are impossible to understand. There's an actual 25 minute sequence in this 96 minute film that has NOTHING TO DO with the rest of the plot, short of showing how one dude tries (and fails) to bribe someone with one of his shell companies. That's nearly a third of the film that has no purpose for being here. WTF. This story is wild, and needs to be told. And, in the hands of Steven Soderbergh, it should be in good hands. But this is a head-scratching misfire from the master auteur. Avoid like the plague.

My Number: 2.5/10

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Zombieland: Double Tap

Zombieland: Double Tap (2019): Columbus, Tallahassee, Wichita, and Little Rock move to the American heartland as they face off against evolved zombies, fellow survivors, and the growing pains of the snarky makeshift family.

Hey, if you want more of the same, you've come to the right place. The Oscar-nominated (and winner) gang returns for a sequel 10 years in the making, but there's only one problem. The director (Ruben Fleischer) and writers (Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick) forgot that it's been 10 years since the first Zombieland, and a lot has happened since then. The zombie genre has become much more saturated, fourth-wall breaking has become something of a common-place, voiceover narration is EVERYWHERE, and the #MeToo movement started. What I'm saying is... it doesn't work to simply rehash a story from ten years ago, clearly (and uncomfortably) told from the male gaze, and simply add bigger and badder zombies to "mix things up." No. Zombieland: Double Tap feels like a lazy, uninspired sequel with very little purpose for existing. Sure, it is WILD to see this incredible gang of stars reunite, (poor Abigail Breslin's name is the only one of the core 4 who didn't make it in front of the title card. Wooooooof) and frankly to see Emma Stone follow up The Favourite with this is the DEFINITION of phoning it in, but hey. The first one is a guilty pleasure of mine, and so I did find some guilty pleasure in this one too. Even if the male gaze is RIDICULOUS. LIKE. EVERY GIRL THROWS THEMSELVES AT TALLAHASSEE (Woody Harrelson) AND COLUMBUS. (Jesse Eisenberg) LITERALLY. IT'S 2019, PEOPLE. STAHP. 

My Number: 5/10

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Countdown

Countdown (2019): When a nurse downloads an app that claims to predict the moment a person will die, it tells her she only has three days to live. With the clock ticking and a figure haunting her, she must find a way to save her life before time runs out.

Ok, here's an idea for you. Bear with me..... what if we take every stereotypical horror trope imaginable and put them all into a film with no coherency or plot, but base it around something that's current in the hopes that young people will see it? May I present to you: Countdown. A hilariously forgettable horror film with no originality or creativity, Countdown clumsily meanders its way through trope after trope, with little more than a basic jump scare thrown in to keep you entertained. The writing is soooooo bad. Director  / writer Justin Dec makes his feature debut here, and it does not work. The male gaze rears its ugly head at points as women do/say things to their male counterparts that are dumbfoundedly unbelievable, complete with a woman literally throwing herself at a man right after an extraordinarily traumatic event occurred. No, having a #basic female empowerment moment at the end with an abusive doctor does not make up for the rest of this dumpster fire. And, as mentioned previously, the scares are completely nonexistent. There was one moment, the entire 90 minute runtime, that kind of got me, which tells you everything you need to know about the state of this horror film. One of the worst films to come out this year..... avoid like the plague. 

My Number: 1.5/10