Movie Review: Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011): Why does this series continue to exist? This time we got a sexy new girl and we get to watch the destruction of Chicago. With a bunch of Decepticons that we once again do not understand with motivations that make no sense. But EXPLOSIONS.

Is it sad when you say that a movie sucks but it's without a doubt the best in a trilogy? Like, this movie is pretty bad. But it is without a doubt the best movie of the series thus far. That's sad! Really sad. Why is it better than the other two? In my opinion, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, who is the definition of eye candy in this, is a vastly better actor than Megan Fox ever was. That isn't as much a compliment to Rosie as it is an insult to Megan Fox. Because she was terrible. Rosie just plays a generic damsel and ultimately damsel-in-distress, but she does it better than Fox could ever dream of. Um....the fight scenes are not as chaotic as they have been in the past. You still have no idea where everything is in relation to everything else but at least the shaky cam is removed somewhat. And uh.....ya. That's about it. But I will say the removal of some of the confusion of the action sequences does make them a lot more enjoyable. Michael Bay finally got that memo. So this movie does somewhat succeed in being a popcorn flick, something which its predecessors did not do.

However there is still a lot of things wrong with this movie. First off, for some reason, Michael Bay does not seem to take a hint that these movies are TOO DAMN LONG. This one is 154 minutes. Over TWO AND A HALF HOURS. Are you SERIOUS? Ya cause Revenge of the Fallen wasn't already long enough. Next up, I feel like in every Transformers movie someone has to play the human being trying to shut down the Autobots for some stupid reason or another. Rather than realizing that Sector 7 in the first and Galloway in the second was a bad idea, Bay goes ahead and has two different plot lines of humans trying to screw everything up! Both of which are stupid but are made even worse by the fact that Patrick Dempsey plays one and Frances McDormand plays the other. Neither of which could be bothered to, you know, act, in this movie, so their plot lines make no sense and are really stupid. Next up, just the overall fact that Leonard Nimoy is in this makes me sad. Not only that, but he actually does try here. He actually tries! His character could've been a somewhat interesting investigation into Autobot motivations and such, but no. No it is not. Just more generic plot lines. Oh well. This movie actually shows potential. But then it fails. Like the rest of this trilogy. And yet it still has made a kajillion dollars. Because explosions. 

There really isn't much else to say about this movie. It is terrible. I don't want to think about it anymore. Ok? Ok. Bye.

The Critique: TRANSFORMERS! ROBOTS IN DISGUISE. Wait was I supposed to say something about the movie here? Oh. Oops.

The Recommendation: I mean.....you've already seen it.

Rewatchability: Moderately Low

The Verdict: 3/10 Bad

Photo Credit:http://media.sfx.co.uk/files/2013/03/Transformers-Dark-Of-The-Moon-Optimus-Prime.jpg