Movie Review: Transformers: Age of Extinction

Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014): More explosions. More Michael Bay. All you really need to know.

Whatever. This movie sucks. Like the rest of them. But you're going to go see it no matter what I say. All the faults of the previous movies are very present here, and some, like the stupid theme of warning us of the potential risks in abusing technology, (aka the humans trying to stop the Autobots and use them for their own gain) are magnified. It's just a shame that the character who plays the human who tries to abuse the power of the Transformers has gotten more and more recognizable with each installment. And yet Stanley Tucci and Kelsey Grammer don't do any better than any of their predecessors because the premise is ridiculous and unbelievable. God why are all these good names now attached to such a shitty movie? Mark Wahlberg, Tucci, Grammer, (Frasier, by the way, in case you don't realize who this is this guy is a TV legend) and Titus Welliver should all be above this but they aren't. It's cash-grabbing, yes, but it's like cash-grabbing in an Adam Sandler movie. You feel like it's more damning to these actors because of the fact that they know exactly what they're signing on for. None of these guys do anything more than provide their name to the movie, though Wahlberg does occasionally show off some chops. Oh, right! The voices. So while Hugo Weaving does not return in this one as Megatron, the movie spared no expense with the voices to the new Autobot crew. Ken Watanabe and John Goodman (what???) show up as two of the four Autobots plus Optimus. GOD THESE NAMES SHOULD NOT BE INVOLVED WITH THIS MOVIE. 

Ok to Bay's credit he did at least try to improve on the complaint that you can't keep track of all the Autobots and Decepticons by only having five Autobots. That's a plus right? And there's really only two bad guys the rest are very clearly unimportant henchmen. That's a plus. That might be it. There's no mention of any of the human characters of the first three movies. Just one single line to even acknowledge their existence is all we get. I was disappointed by this. And as for the action? Some of the scenes were crisp and clear to see, but as usual in the big final battle you had no idea where anyone was in correlation to anything else and it completely took away any and all tension. Just stupidity built on top of more stupidity slammed together with.....you guessed it! Stupidity. And yet still everyone in the world is going to see it, and there will be another one, and everyone in the world will see that one too, and then the cycle will continue. Probably for as long as they can make money on it. Which pisses me off but whatever! I don't even want to do my normal ending spiel here. Go see it, because I know you will, and just try to get some enjoyment out of it. Just try. I will be right here continuing my crusade against this series. F*ck it. 3/10 Still pretty bad. Yup. That's my review for Transformers 4.


Photo Credit
http://1hdwallpapers.com/wallpapers/optimus_prime_transformers_age_of_extinction.jpg