KILLER SHARKS ARE KILLER DUDE
The Shallows (2016): A mere 200 yards from shore, surfer Nancy is attacked by a great white shark, with her short journey to safety becoming the ultimate contest of wills.
Ok. I'm gonna see how fast I can write this review because I just want to word vomit for a bit. Have you seen Sharknado? I have. It falls into the "so bad it's good" category. Well, The Shallows falls into that category too. But, despite it's total and utter RIDICULOUSNESS, I had a blast watching this short film. I was honestly yelling at the screen as some crazy things happened on the screen in front of me. But, at the end of the day, I think my biggest takeaway from this film is that there is a dead shark out there that had a seriously love interest in Blake Lively. Seriously. If you had some different music underneath this film you would think something VERY different than what we saw here Because this shark just refused to leave Blake Lively alone. I mean c'mon shark! There are other fish in the sea!. Ok I'm not gonna lie: that line is the main reason I wanted to write this review. I just had that thought about how this shark is in love with Blake Lively throughout this film and realized nobody is talking about that. Seriously. What the f is this.
Oh. Right. I should probably talk a bit about this film. Ok. So Blake Lively is asked to hold her own in this film, and she does. She's not particularly great, but the film does ask quite a bit of her. (Takes a sip of beer) The real star though, (beside's the shark's love affair) is the bird. There's a bird in this film, and he is totally rad. Oh. Look at me using surfer terms. I know....there's so much content in this review, right? Let's see.....what else.....oh! Yes. The editing. There's actually some good editing here. This helps the film not seem as cheap as a film like Sharknado. Now of course no one is going to remember this film come Oscar season, and believe me they should not, but the editing went a long way to help make this film seem more.....professional, and not something that you would see WHY IS NOBODY ACKNOWLEDGING WHEN SOMEONE IS SINGING IN A MUSICAL-oh sorry got off topic. That's not something you would see in a film that airs on Syfy. The editing, that is.
However, it's important to remember that this movie, like Sharknado, is totally and utterly ridiculous. But you know what? I respect that. I can respect a film that knows it's ridiculous and embraces this fact. It's a thin line, for sure, but this film like, (you guessed it) Sharknado definitely rides that line. But, there's really not much else to talk about. Remember I mostly wrote this review for that lame joke about the shark in this film being hopelessly in love with Blake Lively and is just struggling to express himself. I mean if you watch this film with that mindset it is a very different experience. At the end of the day, I think this film is a perfect Friday night candidate to watch with your friends after a couple of drinks. You'll have just as much fun watching it as you did Sharknado. Surely this film will find itself on Netflix in a few months like its shark brethren and when it does.....you know what to do.
The Critique: A ridiculous film that thankfully owns it, The Shallows is the definition of a film that is so bad it's good.
The Recommendation: A perfect candidate to load up on Netflix with your friends after you've had a couple of drinks in a few months.
The Verdict: A very high 3/10 Bad.
Boom. Done. 15 minutes later. I ainnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn't havin' that.
http://www.southernfriedscience.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/funny-shark-memes.png (shark meme)
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