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11/27/2019

Movie Review: Frozen II

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Disappointing in every sense of the word

Frozen II (2019): Anna, Elsa, Kristoff, Olaf and Sven leave Arendelle to travel to an ancient, autumn-bound forest of an enchanted land. They set out to find the origin of Elsa's powers in order to save their kingdom.

​As usual, I need to preface every review about an animated film by reminding you that I don’t watch that many animated movies. Trying to review them tends to feel rather foreign to me. However, this isn’t just any animated film, it’s Frozen II – the sequel to the biggest animated film of this decade – so I’ll give it a whack and see what happens.
 
The moment I walked out of the theater after seeing Frozen, (fun fact: one of the first reviews I ever wrote right there, so go easy on me) I knew I had seen a genre-defining film. Its story was timeless and inspirational, the characters were lovable and charming, and the music was damn near instantly iconic. (“Let It Go” has been stuck in my head ever since, as I’m sure it has been in yours.) So it goes without saying that the predecessor has big shoes to fill. Unfortunately, this sequel is not Cinderella. Instead, it’s one of the evil stepsisters.
 
Forced Disney metaphor aside, before I go any further let me just say this: this movie is fine. It’s cute, fun, upbeat, brisk, and energetic. Young children will almost certainly be entertained. But, as a sequel to Frozen? This is the best you could do? Really? The film’s problem’s start with its music, which is decent at best and decrepit at worst. The only song here with any sort of staying power is “Into the Unknown,” which is 100% propped up by the enviable diaphragm of Idina Menzel. (The Panic! At the Disco version is better, but that should hardly come as a surprise. BRENDON URIE SINGS THIS SONG IN THE SAME KEY, PEOPLE. THE SAME KEY. AS IDINA MENZEL.) Even this song, the best Frozen II has to offer, is seriously lacking in instrumental catchiness, with a very awkward and sudden ending to cap it off. If this song goes on to win Best Original Song at the Oscars, that would mean it was a depressingly weak year for Hollywood and original music. Meanwhile, the worst song in this film undoubtedly goes to Kristoff’s (Jonathan Groff) big number, which somehow manages to totally waste the voice behind the character on an awkward, out-of-place 1980’s hair metal-esque song that is clearly only here for the dads in the audience that have to watch this film. Seriously… what was that, and why do you waste Jonathan Groff on something like that? At least have that be an Olaf (Josh Gad) number! (While still out of place, that would’ve been funnier, at least.) But I want to know why it’s in the film at all, as it feels so out-of-place it borders on an actual Frozen parody.
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They are so charming together! Ugh!
While the music is…. Disappointing, the characters are not. Once again, the core cast is excellent, with Anna (Kristen Bell) and Elsa (Idina Menzel) successfully reprising their beloved characters. There’s even a clever bit of gender reversal here, as Kristoff spends most of the film trying (and hilariously failing) to propose to Anna. Hey, isn’t it nice to have a guy spend an entire film talking about a woman, for once? I also thoroughly enjoyed Olaf’s comedic relief. Writer / directors Chris Buck and Jennifer Lee transform Olaf into a sort of teenage philosopher, and adults in the room will find themselves laughing a lot as he discovers the world with a contemplative sense of zeal, joy, and innocence. But, the overarching story? It’s a cardboard cutout of corporate mandated filmmaking. The film never takes anything even resembling a risk, forgoing anything that could be viewed as a deep and contemplative philosophical topic or theme in place of a standard hero’s journey with sisterhood, FTW! thrown in to boot. While the music was disappointing, the story may be Frozen II’s biggest offense. There is absolutely no courage to it. No edge. Every side is smoothed out for the widest possible audience appeal. Heck, the only character failure in this film arises from someone being overly ambitious to discover the truth, which is kind of ridiculous when you think about it. (Imagine what our world would look like if we all taught that to our kids…) The characters hardly face any meaningful adversity, and when they even approach the topic it’s cast aside with an overly simple, single line of dialogue. There is absolutely nothing here to grapple on to, which could not be more disappointing.
 
I don’t know. I’m just frustrated that, in a animated sequel of this titanic proportion, Disney and the filmmakers weren’t more willing to take some risks in their storytelling. The original Frozen was significantly more interesting in its tale of overcoming the fear of something you don’t understand with Elsa’s great character arc. However, this story couldn’t be more ordinary if it tried. I don’t think it’s too much to ask for the sequel to one of the biggest animated films Disney has released this century to have a bit of fortitude to go along with being entertaining. But this lack of audacity, combined with the instantly forgettable music, is what leads to Frozen II being nothing more than…. Fine. Take the kids, have a good time, then forget about it as soon as you get home. Sigh.
 
My Number: 5/10

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11/21/2019

Quick Reviews, Fall 2019, Part 1: Judy, Joker, The Laundromat, Zombieland: Double Tap, Countdown

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Judy

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Judy (2019): Legendary performer Judy Garland arrives in London in the winter of 1968 to perform a series of sold-out concerts.

I Love. This. Movie. It's everything I ever wanted in a Judy Garland biopic. A fascinating look into the psyche of one of the most iconic, albeit flawed, individuals of the 20th century. Renee Zellweger shines in the title role behind a film that doesn't do anything more than it needs to do to make you ball by the end. Fair warning: you will rock the ugly cry at the end of this film. Because the story of Judy Garland is a flawed and tragic one. One which gives some of her most iconic songs new meaning. This film is absolutely devastating to watch unfold, yet you're constantly rooting for Judy to find her inner voice and overcome the adversity. And it's all wrapped up in a mesmerizing performance from Renee Zellweger. The versatile actress is completely sucked into the iconic performer, with every facet of Judy's character noted and treasured by Zellweger. It is, admittedly, a showy performance, but it's a demanding one nonetheless. With an absolutely wonderful ending that will make you cry like a baby. Everyone in the theater was. Go see it.

My Number: 8.5/10

Joker

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Joker (2019): In Gotham City, mentally-troubled comedian Arthur Fleck is disregarded and mistreated by society. He then embarks on a downward spiral of revolution and bloody crime. This path brings him face-to-face with his alter-ego: "The Joker".

Ahhhhh, we meet again. The classic definition of, "It's fine." Yes, Joker has its good moments, with a very showy performance from its lead, but it's wrapped up in an overtly pretentious film that really can't decide whether it's condemning or celebrating its villainous lead. Look. Joaquin Phoenix is great. There's no denying that. But the "fine line" this film rides is rather ... uncomfortable. I'm not asking for a Joker film that overtly condemns its title character. I just wish there weren't as many blatant and uncomfortable hero imagery moments.  That aside, the film is good. The writing is sharp and Joaquin is great. But that's really all this film has going for it. Sure, it sheds some light on mental illness. And that's great. But do we really need that? I mean, this is supposed to be a film that shows the transformation of a man into the Joker. But it really feels like he's basically the Joker from the first moment of this film. The "transition" is basically taken for granted. All of this to say….. it's fine.

My Number: 5/10

The Laundromat

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The Laundromat (2019): In this The Big Short (2015)-esque dramedy based on the Mossack Fonseca scandal, a cast of characters investigate an insurance fraud, chasing leads to a pair of a flamboyant Panama City law partners exploiting the world's financial system.
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And then there's a film that simply has no idea what it wants to be. The latest from the great Steven Soderbergh and his second forray with Netflix this year, (his previous film, High Flying Bird, was outstanding and pushed the limits of convention with his iPhone cinematography) The Laundromat is an unfortunate misfire that has absolutely zero semblance of pacing, a completely incoherent plot, erratic and inconsistent performances, and is just an overall mess. Seriously. Scenes that seemingly have zero relevance drone on for 15 minutes at a time, held together loosely by shoddy narration from Gary Oldman / Antonio Banderas. UGH. That reminds me that these two are paired together, and I LOVE THAT. But…. They're…. Just….. Bad! I don't know what they are doing or trying to portray with these characters. To be fair, the lackluster writing behind them did them no favors, but their transitions from narrators to characters to narrator-charactors was extraordinarily tough to follow and understand. Also, their extremely distracting screen-chewing didn't do them any favors, either. The cavalcade of stars are fun to watch pop up, but, outside of Meryl Streep, (have you ever seen a bad performance from Meryl Streep?) their characters are impossible to understand. There's an actual 25 minute sequence in this 96 minute film that has NOTHING TO DO with the rest of the plot, short of showing how one dude tries (and fails) to bribe someone with one of his shell companies. That's nearly a third of the film that has no purpose for being here. WTF. This story is wild, and needs to be told. And, in the hands of Steven Soderbergh, it should be in good hands. But this is a head-scratching misfire from the master auteur. Avoid like the plague.

My Number: 2.5/10

Zombieland: Double Tap

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Zombieland: Double Tap (2019): Columbus, Tallahassee, Wichita, and Little Rock move to the American heartland as they face off against evolved zombies, fellow survivors, and the growing pains of the snarky makeshift family.

Hey, if you want more of the same, you've come to the right place. The Oscar-nominated (and winner) gang returns for a sequel 10 years in the making, but there's only one problem. The director (Ruben Fleischer) and writers (Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick) forgot that it's been 10 years since the first Zombieland, and a lot has happened since then. The zombie genre has become much more saturated, fourth-wall breaking has become something of a common-place, voiceover narration is EVERYWHERE, and the #MeToo movement started. What I'm saying is... it doesn't work to simply rehash a story from ten years ago, clearly (and uncomfortably) told from the male gaze, and simply add bigger and badder zombies to "mix things up." No. Zombieland: Double Tap feels like a lazy, uninspired sequel with very little purpose for existing. Sure, it is WILD to see this incredible gang of stars reunite, (poor Abigail Breslin's name is the only one of the core 4 who didn't make it in front of the title card. Wooooooof) and frankly to see Emma Stone follow up The Favourite with this is the DEFINITION of phoning it in, but hey. The first one is a guilty pleasure of mine, and so I did find some guilty pleasure in this one too. Even if the male gaze is RIDICULOUS. LIKE. EVERY GIRL THROWS THEMSELVES AT TALLAHASSEE (Woody Harrelson) AND COLUMBUS. (Jesse Eisenberg) LITERALLY. IT'S 2019, PEOPLE. STAHP. 

My Number: 5/10

Countdown

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Countdown (2019): When a nurse downloads an app that claims to predict the moment a person will die, it tells her she only has three days to live. With the clock ticking and a figure haunting her, she must find a way to save her life before time runs out.

Ok, here's an idea for you. Bear with me..... what if we take every stereotypical horror trope imaginable and put them all into a film with no coherency or plot, but base it around something that's current in the hopes that young people will see it? May I present to you: Countdown. A hilariously forgettable horror film with no originality or creativity, Countdown clumsily meanders its way through trope after trope, with little more than a basic jump scare thrown in to keep you entertained. The writing is soooooo bad. Director  / writer Justin Dec makes his feature debut here, and it does not work. The male gaze rears its ugly head at points as women do/say things to their male counterparts that are dumbfoundedly unbelievable, complete with a woman literally throwing herself at a man right after an extraordinarily traumatic event occurred. No, having a #basic female empowerment moment at the end with an abusive doctor does not make up for the rest of this dumpster fire. And, as mentioned previously, the scares are completely nonexistent. There was one moment, the entire 90 minute runtime, that kind of got me, which tells you everything you need to know about the state of this horror film. One of the worst films to come out this year..... avoid like the plague. 

My Number: 1.5/10

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11/10/2019

Movie Review: Doctor Sleep

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What.... exactly.... do you do here? 

Doctor Sleep (2019): Years following the events of The Shining, a now-adult Dan Torrance meets a young girl with similar powers as he tries to protect her from a cult known as The True Knot who prey on children with powers to remain immortal.

It's rare for a film to leave me this flabbergasted. This dumbfounded. This awestruck by the sheer audacity of what I just witnessed. We've waited nearly 40 years for a sequel to one of the greatest horror films, (and films period, for that matter) and, in this current Stephen King Renaissance, it was inevitable that it would finally come. Doctor Sleep is that long awaited sequel. Going in, I was temperamentally excited. How bad could a sequel to The Shinning, The EFFING SHINING, possibly be? The Shining's haunting formula of psychological terror and human degradation is the standard-bearer for what horror films should be. All they had to do was replicate that genre-defining formula, or at the VERY LEAST attempt to mimic it, but instead we get….. witches. And, look. I get it. Stephen King is weird and somehow didn't like Stanley Kubrick's adaptation of his book. The Overlook Hotel (the setting for The Shining) isn't even in the Doctor Sleep novel. That's not my problem with this film - in fact, I actually somewhat enjoyed the lore King expanded on. That's not my issue with this film. My issue is that it ignores EVERYTHING that made its legendary predecessor great in favor of…. witches. Effing witches. Doctor Sleep is not just the most disappointing film I've seen all year, it's one of the most disappointing films I have ever seen. WHY DO YOU IGNORE EVERYTHING THAT MADE YOUR PREDECESSOR ICONIC? 

Ok, I'm gushing over it to a near unhealthy degree, so let's talk about The Shining for a minute. Yes, the original is buoyed by one of the greatest performances ever, (thank you, Jack Nicholson) but the meticulous filmmaking of director Stanley Kubrick (you've probably heard of him) also amplified the sheer horror of this pillar of American cinema. The Shining plays on the very human fear of the unknown to deliver its terror, versus the stereotypical jump scare. As Kubrick himself put it, The Shining is, at its core, about one family going insane together. It's simple, quiet, and elegant. And that's what makes it terrifying. You don't have any singular omnipresent being slowly ramping the scares up to eleven before everybody dies. The Shining is, simply, a study in the human psyche when confronted with some weird and unusual, yet eerily plausible events. However, Doctor Sleep gives all of that up in favor of witches. By rooting this sequel in the supernatural, director Mike Flanagan (and more so Stephen King, for that matter) forgo the entire psychological evaluation that made The Shining as great as it was. The fear of the unknown is completely lost in favor of something realistically implausible, something supernatural and near omnipresent, which is as frustrating as it sounds.
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All Them Witches
Yes, this comes despite some admittedly decent lore-building moments. Rose the Hat is a legitimately interesting villain, and actress Rebecca Ferguson certainly had a ball playing the character. She's cool, calm, and collected, which makes her pretty terrifying when she goes off on someone. Rose the Hat is a somewhat menacing yet identifiable character as she does anything to protect her flock, but she is lost in this incomprehensible sea of noise. Because, again…. Witches.

I don't know. Maybe if you approach this film more as a suspenseful, supernatural, spiritual successor to The Shining, you'll have a better time. Clearly, I was hoping for a more forward sequel. But…. Will you? This film is 151 minutes long and it draaaaags in the second act. The writing is all over the place. At times it's great, but at others.... characters stop to drop monologues at the most random times, the Stephen King tropes feel depressingly forced, (lines like, "Fresh off the bus" are worn out in 2019 after 15 other Stephen King adaptations since It) and there's just…. Zero tension. It takes 2 full hours for the film to finally revisit the iconic Overlook Hotel, (which isn't in the novel, mind you) and when it does there are some admittedly great moments. (That can be described as fan service, but at least there was some good psychological tension here) There's one truly great sequence between Dan (Ewan McGregor) and his father figure, Jack, that doubles as a child coming to grips with the insanity of his father, all dressed as this incredibly tense and gripping moment with a seeming innocent bartender. In this moment, all the tropes that made The Shining great return with haunting effects, buuuuuuuut it really serves to make the rest of the film that much more frustrating. Where were sequences like this in the previous 2 hours? Why did it take the unforgettable set of The Shining to make this film interesting? Why did Stephen King go all-in on witches??? Not even a good performance from Ewan McGregor can save this. I don't think it should take somewhat blatant fan service for us to be like, "Oh, this is what made The Shining great, why didn't you do this earlier?" I think if you approach this more as a film about witches and their titanic struggle against Dan Torrance and Abra Stone, (Kyliegh Curran - also really good) you'll have more fun. If you're looking for anything resembling a direct sequel to The Shining, however..... stay away.

My Number: 4/10

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ABOUT JOSEPH

​I believe you've gotta have fun with everything you do. Otherwise, what's the point?

​Also, say anything bad about Greta Gerwig or 
Timothée Chalamet and I will fight you with some very strong emotions.
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