Yesterday (2019): A struggling musician realizes he's the only person on Earth who can remember The Beatles after waking up in an alternate timeline where they never existed.

​I don't get what this film is trying to say. Is it trying to say that even if we have everything, we still need somebody to love? Is it trying to say we could, as a species, survive in a world without The Beatles? That a single man can still capture the imagination of millions, billions, even, in today's time of wild diversity, as The Beatles once did? Beats me, because I have NO idea. The latest from one of Hollywood's great modern directors, Danny Boyle, Yesterday is an utterly lifeless and lazy film that poorly executes one (admittedly clever) idea: what if no one knew about The Beatles, save one singer-songwriter? It's forgettable, lacking anything resembling a soul, and feels like it exists solely to capitalize on the fact that The Beatles are, well, the single most popular band in the history of contemporary music. It does have some good acting (better than what the next film in these quick reviews has in it, for sure) from Himesh Patel and Lily James, and Ed Sheeran is surprisingly charming, but, outside of hearing Himesh Patel do some covers of classic Beatles songs..... I truly don't know what this film is trying to do. What exactly is it.... doing here? Beats me. I saw it 5 days ago and, even though I had a decent time, I've already forgotten most of it. Maybe that's what this film is for: let's tap into the nostalgia of The Beatles while delivering a pleasantly forgettable experience. Ya, that sounds about right.

Now I'm in the mood to listen to "Hey Jude" again....

My Number: 5/10

The Lion King (2019): After the murder of his father, a young lion prince flees his kingdom only to learn the true meaning of responsibility and bravery.

This movie..... it's not good. Whether it be the completely emotion-less lions, or the decrepit modern arrangements of the iconic score, or the (at points) straight-up bad voice acting..... there's really not much here that kept me from walking out of Jon Favreau's interpretation of The Lion King. Ok. "Interpretation" is used very loosely. This film is essentially a shot-for-shot live-action remake of the iconic 1994 Disney animated film of the same name. It lands with a ton of fanfare, and it's making a ton of money, but is this really what we expect from our films now?  Is this really going to be the bar? Were it not for the wonderful chemistry of Timon and Pumbaa, (Billy Eichner and Seth Rogen) and the occasional funny quip between the hyenas Kamari and Azizi, (Keegan-Michael Key and Eric André) there would be absolutely nothing here of note to differentiate this film from its 1994 vastly superior original. Yes, nostalgia is great. Yes, it's wonderful to hear an iconic song like "Hakuna Matata" on a big screen once again. But why do we have to see it on an abomination of an excuse of a CGI generated lion? I legitimately don't understand! I've been following a decent amount of this Disney live-action remakes of their classic IPs, and this one is by far the worst of all of them. At least with films like Dumbo and Aladdin, we got some creative liberties taken with the story. We got some updates to be more in tune with the current era. Here, we got absolutely NOTHING. It is a straight tit-for-tat remake of its counterpart, which makes all the issues with these corporate-mandated live-action remakes that much more glaring. End of the day.... there are a few shots of Timon that are really pretty. And that's about it. What an absolute trainwreck. 

My Number: 2/10

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019): A group of teens face their fears in order to save their lives.

So you'd think Guillermo del Toro's name being attached to a project would immediately make it great. Or exciting. Or interesting. However, this film has very little of any of that. While it is pretty creative with a lot of diverse and interesting (and Guillermo-esque) monsters, the execution left a lot to be desired. The film falls into a lot of standard horror tropes, with a set of rather bland and uninteresting characters to go along with it. There's just not a whole lot else going on in this film. This film is like oatmeal. Good for you, you can add a few berries to make it taste a bit better, but it's still oatmeal. Maybe I hold horror films up to a higher standard than most because it's my favorite genre, (this film is certainly better than the 9th installment to The Conjuring franchise) but I really need to feel connected to the characters to appreciate a horror film. To feel invested in the outlandish events happening on screen. When you have bland characters, even an interesting premise and unique monsters fall by the wayside.

My Number: 5/10

The Peanut Butter Falcon (2019): Zak runs away from his care home to make his dream of becoming a wrestler come true.

This film is a story of two halves. The first half is a messy, unsophisticated, and at times mean-spirited affair, while the second half is a completely engaging and invigorating roadtrip tale. Fortunately the second half is much longer than the first, as the point between the two halves is when Tyler (Shia LaBeouf) and Zak (Zack Gottsagen) finally meet. The first half is defined by how the film treats its lead character, Zak. He is uncomfortably demeaned and devalued through several perplexing decisions made, turning his down syndrome into something of a slapstick joke. While it's not super overt in its mistreatment of Zak, it wasn't lost on me or my friend watching the film with me. (Who used to work for an organization dedicated to helping people with developmental disabilities integrate themselves into the community, so I definitely place significant value in her opinion on this.) However! Once Tyler and Zak meet, the film's tone changes almost instantly. Tyler's treatment of Zak was nothing short of phenomenal. His response when Zak told him he has down syndrome, responding with, "I don't care. Keep up or I'll leave you behind." Is exactly how I want Hollywood to treat touchy subjects! (Not by having Joe Russo make a shameless cameo to deliver Marvel's first openly gay character….) Tyler's wonderful treatment of Zak shows up later when Eleanor (Dakota Johnson) enters the film, calling her out for treating Zak like someone who's different, even if she's not overtly saying it. It's so good! The story itself is interesting, despite being somewhat ordinary. The victim of this stereotypical story is Eleanor. She has a very forced love story with Tyler, despite having almost nothing in common. Overall a fairly cookie cutter story, but given its subject matter, it's propelled to at least memorable status. Combined with a dominating performance from Shia LaBeouf, and you have a good film.

My Number: 7/10

Official Secrets (2019): The true story of a British whistleblower who leaked information to the press about an illegal NSA spy operation designed to push the UN Security Council into sanctioning the 2003 invasion of Iraq.

I had the chance to see this film in my favorite place on earth: the Landmark in Hollywood. Not only that, but a Q&A with director Gavin Hood followed the screening. I preface this review with these tidbits to say the allure of seeing a film at the Landmark with a Q&A often makes me appreciate the film more than I would otherwise. So, had I seen this film in Cincinnati at the Esquire, I may have disliked it even more than I ultimately did in this screening. Official Secrets is all over the place. The film is comprised of multiple stories thrown together and struggles with coherency and consistency at several points. The editing is….. rough. Either uneventful or distracting and overbearing. I just couldn't get behind it when the story is as unbecoming as it is. Ya, the further away from this film I get, the more frustrated I am. It had the opportunity to be so much more than a stereotypical spy thriller, given its incredible source material, but ultimately that's all it is. There's really not much else to say. Official Secrets goes through its story in a very lazy way, essentially going through the motions in an unabashedly dramatic story. Kiera Knightly is her usually wonderful self, but it takes a lot more than a solid Kiera to make a film good, and since this film is missing everything else….. woof. Hard pass.

My Number: 4/10

The Farewell (2019): A Chinese family discovers their grandmother has only a short while left to live and decide to keep her in the dark, scheduling a wedding to gather before she dies.

Yes! I finally had the chance to see this film! A titanic collaboration between Lulu Wang and Awkwafina, The Farewell takes a concept completely foreign to The West and puts it squarely in The West's sites in a completely dramatic and captivating way. This film is led by its unassuming yet poignant general, Awkwafina, quietly putting in yet another iconic performance in the lead role. We do not deserve to breathe the same air as Awkwafina. She makes this very Eastern premise fascinating to watch, and her character arc is completely earned as a result. While Lulu Wang's direction is a bit distracting at points, the very human story is still utterly fascinating to watch, propped up by the undeniable presence that is Awkwafina. Strong recommend.

My Number: 8/10

Ad Astra (2019): Astronaut Roy McBride undertakes a mission across an unforgiving solar system to uncover the truth about his missing father and his doomed expedition that now, 30 years later, threatens the universe.

So I had been looking forward to this film. A family drama in the vast unknown of outer space? Traveling through our solar system? With a Tommy Lee Jones / Brad Pitt father / son duo? I can't sign that paper fast enough. Unfortunately, everyone else making this film had the same thought. And we're given an incredibly self-aware, self-indulgent film that thinks it's the most important thing to release since 2001: A Space Odyssey. Now, I should note: overly self-aware does not equal bad. Far from it: there are some wonderfully interesting themes in this film that are investigated, and the third act is quite tense. But, I could never shake the thought that I was watching an "important" film. An "insightful" and "impactful" piece of cinema that will "change how you approach your life." Truly great works of cinema never draw attention to their greatness. In fact, that's about the last thing a great film does. But, that doesn't mean this film is bad! It is absolutely spectacular to watch, thanks to the great cinematographer Hoyte Van Hoytema taking a break from Christopher Nolan and shooting his unofficial sequel to Interstellar. I could've watched this film with earplugs in and still had a great time. It is a spectacular visual experience. And Brad Pitt is great! I think I liked him a bit more here than I did in Once Upon a Time.... In Hollywood. Between the two films, an Oscar nomination is likely in his future for one of them.  But, when you're not admiring its visual glory, you're thinking about its overall pretentious tone, which certainly holds this film back from the greatness it could have been.

My Number: 6/10

Late Night (2019): A late-night talk-show host suspects that she may soon lose her long-running show.

I had a chance to see this Sundance hit early, (and as an official member of the Cincinnati film press, if I may humble brag) and upon leaving  the theater, I was actually pretty torn about it. On the one hand, it is a lovely little film, another peg in this surprising resurgence of American comedies we've seen over the past 2 years, (that's right, there's been enough of these American comedies that have been good that I'm officially calling it a resurgence) but on the other hand...... there's something off about this film. I think it has something to do with the film's somewhat insidious message. On the one hand, it's a film about female empowerment, but on the other hand, it's main female character can't be a strong, independent woman - she has to have a very shoddy boyfriend storyline. On the one hand, it's a film about a middle-age Hollywood star trying not to be cast aside because she is no longer 25 and "beautiful," but on the other hand she has to have a sex scandal and be a super mean person. (There's a word for that that I won't dare utter here.) On the one hand, there has to be a statement on a frat-like work environment. On the other hand, none of the men are ever punished for their actions and overall repulsiveness. (not even the writer at the focal point of the sex scandal gets anything short of a nice "zing" moment) Because of this somewhat muddy message, I'm quite surprised this was a hit at Sundance, one of the most liberal watering holes on the planet, as some of these moments definitely fall into the realm of "cringe." THAT SAID, the cast is wonderful. Mindy Kaling and Emma Thompson are great, both together and separately, John Lithgow is FAR better here than he was in freaking Pet Sematary, and of course I continue to love Paul Walter Hauser and everything he's in.  The jokes are great, the formula (which we've seen a million times) works, and you feel good about yourself and the world around you by film's end. I just wish it didn't have as much underlying spite for progressiveism as it does. Seriously, why are you so afraid to have your lead female character just be #singleandproud? 

My Number: 6/10

Ma (2019): A lonely woman befriends a group of teenagers and decides to let them party at her house. Just when the kids think their luck couldn't get any better, things start happening that make them question the intention of their host.

This is one of those examples where it's better to let the mystique of a film envelope its persona versus actually seeing it. The marketing behind Ma has been nothing short of incredible. From "receiving texts from Ma" to the short clips of Octavia Spencer being hilariously passive aggressive, it was hard not to at least slightly elevate the bottom-of-the-barrel expectations going into this film…….. and I wish I hadn't. The latest horror / thriller from Blumhouse Productions is a vehicle for Octavia Spencer to be in a role that you would NEVER see her in otherwise, and sadly that's all it is. The film shines when Ma (Spencer) is on the screen, but is otherwise a mediocre horror film with very few actually scary moments and a horrific L on the psychological aspect. Seriously - the message conveyed here about one person's approach to dealing with childhood trauma is pretty messed up. Director Tate Taylor and writer Scotty Landes make the fateful decision to try and make the viewer actually sympathize with Ma, attempting (and failing) to ground this film with a sense of humility. If Ma had just been a near omnipresent being with a connection to the supernatural, the journey would've been far more enjoyable. But nope! She just had a vendetta, obsessed with delivering the exact wrong message of how to deal with your problems to viewers everywhere. Also, if you think you'll find solace in the rest of this cast, think again. Everyone else besides Diana Silvers has NOTHING to do, (Allison Janney puts in one of the most phoned-in performances I've ever seen) and Silvers is still too young in her career to know how to carry a film. (She delivers the exact same "inquisitive look" approximately 47 times.) In short, Octavia Spencer is great, and everything I hoped she would be, but the character is written terribly, and there's NOTHING else here to keep you vested. Hard pass.

My Number: 4/10

Her Smell (2019): A self-destructive punk rocker struggles with sobriety while trying to recapture the creative inspiration that led her band to success.

What a purely creative film. Buoyed by an iconic performance from Elisabeth Moss, Her Smell is the latest from director / writer Alex Ross Perry. The film showcases Elisabeth Moss in EASILY her best performance to date - an emotionally unstable creative that has fallen into a destructive pattern of harm to both her and her fellow bandmates. Becky Something (Moss) is as unpredictable as she is unstable - an unforgettably genuine performance from the already successful Moss that gripped me from the first moment she was on screen until the credits rolled. This performance from Moss completely floored me - it was so unexpected, yet despite the outlandishness of it all, was grounded in an undeniable sense of humility. This zany performance was absolutely necessary, as the rest of the film left much to be desired. It's such a whimsical film that it was downright impossible to follow at points, moving so quickly from one idea to the next it was impossible to keep up. But the characters, each bursting with individual and genuine traits, keep you more than invested throughout the lengthy 134 minute runtime. All wrapped up in that Elisabeth Moss performance which is easily the best performance I've seen all year to this point.  Just be prepared to be questioning what you just heard. A lot. 

My Number: 7/10

Men in Black: International (2019): The Men in Black have always protected the Earth from the scum of the universe. In this new adventure, they tackle their biggest threat to date: a mole in the Men in Black organization.

​This one makes me sad. The latest from the GREAT F. Gary Gray, (Straight Outta Compton) the 4th installment in the Men in Black universe is somewhat enjoyable, but otherwise depressingly lifeless. Look, corporate Hollywood loves its sequels. There's no denying that. And if the sequel is done well (see: any Mission: Impossible film) the end result is glorious. But this sequel feels corporate-mandated, soul-less, and devoid of any real meaning. A lifeless husk that lumbers through each scene with little passion or intent. Not even its leads feel dynamic, Tessa Thompson is playing herself, (which, admittedly, I'm fine with) and Chris Hemsworth is playing every charismatic lead actor ever. Rafe Spall is horrifically miscast, and Liam Nesson is just playing himself to. Which is significantly less welcome at this point compared to Thompson. The only character here with any semblance of depth is Kumail Nanijiani, who's voice is basically the only entertainment to be found in this film. Once he shows up, basically halfway through, there's some entertainment to be found here, but it's very little and very far between. While there are a few decent moments, (it's not the worst sequel I've ever seen by any means) there are also vastly superior films to watch right now. (See: Rocketman and Booksmart for starters) Go see one of those.

My Number: 4/10

Spider-Man: Far from Home (2019): Following the events of Avengers: Endgame, Spider-Man must step up to take on new threats in a world that has changed forever.

The latest installment in the Spider-Man universe and first film to drop from Marvel in a post-Endgame world, Far from Home lands with a hard thud and makes me very worried about what the MCU will look like going forward. Director Jon Watts (who also directed the last entry, Homecoming) is very aware that he's making a new Marvel film, and his constant reminder to us, the audience, about it is far more frustrating that it is funny. Additionally, Mysterio is a very frustrating character. The first act of this film is totally wasted on a meaningless storyline that goes absolutely nowhere, and by the time the meat of the film kicks in, it's already too late. At least Jake Gyllenhaal is having a good time portraying the character. The rest of the cast seems... exhausted and uninterested in reprising their characters again. Even Zendaya seems to be merely going through the motions with her vastly superior portrayal of MJ. (compared to the previous iterations) As does the rest of the events of this film. If this is a sign of what we're in for in a post-Endgame world…. I am very worried.

My Number: 3/10

Pain and Glory (2019): A film director reflects on the choices he's made in life as past and present come crashing down around him.

Pain & Glory is the latest film from famous Spanish director Pedro Almodóvar, and the fame shows. The film stars established Hollywood actors Antonio Banderas and Penélope Cruz. Banderas plays the famous Spanish director, Salvador Mallo, in his physical decline and simply follows him around a few weeks of his life, with the occasional flashback to his younger years. The film is excellent, but, whether it be because I saw it at 8 am on the last day in an utterly exhausted state or because the events that unfold aren't overly compelling, the film has failed to resonate with me after the end credits. I do want to give this film another chance: Almodóvar is a very famous director in Spain and excels at crafting intimate and charming character dramas. But here he seems to be appealing directly to the audience that would go to Cannes. The film shamelessly appeals to upper echelon movie insiders, with a lead who's yearning for his days as a director and plenty of film acting / directing references littered about. I personally enjoyed it, but at points it felt overly pretentious and may turn off ordinary (aka those not attending Cannes or another prestigious film festival) viewing audiences. That said, it's still a well-made film with a demanding performance from Antonio Banderas, and well worth Best Actor at the festival. It's no Marcello Fonte, (Dogman) but the recognition of an actor like Banderas portraying a famous figure in the film community certainly helps his case. Oh, and editing and use of flashbacks are excellent. As is Penélope Cruz. It's wonderful, just….. slightly pretentious.

My Number: 7.5/10

Parasite (2019): All unemployed, Ki-taek's family takes peculiar interest in the wealthy and glamorous Parks for their livelihood until they get entangled in an unexpected incident.

The latest from Joon Ho Bong (who’s previous works include Okja, The Host, Mother, and Snowpiercer, to name a few) won the Palme d’Or at this year’s festival, and after watching the film I can see why. This film has crowd-pleaser written all over it and is the tale of two halves: the movie starts as a raucous when a family ripped straight from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia integrates themselves, one by one, with an upper class Korean family. This sequence is complete with some wonderfully comedic bits, intentionally overdramatic montages, and an intentionally hilarious overserious tone. We were rolling on the floor laughing in the first half, but before you know it…. Bong Joon-ho has you by the neck and when the film gets real….. It turns the tension up to 11. The turn here is sudden and abrasive - in our room you could hear the audible gasps at this very specific and heart-stopping moment. From that moment on, this film turns into a gripping drama with a powerful message about the rigid class structures found throughout the world and what we’ll do to try and preserve our families through the insanity of it all. The second half is every bit as effective as the first, complete with a climax that will actually take your breath away. I cannot recommend this film enough: even for those intimidated by having to read subtitles, it’s worth a watch simply because of how sheerly entertaining the overall film is. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll be on the edge of your seat, you'll be glued to the screen from start to finish. What more could you want in a film? This and Portrait of a Lady on Fire have stuck with me more than any other film out of Cannes 2019, and I suspect they will continue to resonate long into awards season. Remember this one, for it will assuredly be a heavy hitter for Best Foreign Film of 2019.

My Number: 10/10

Little Joe (2019): Alice, a single mother, is a dedicated senior plant breeder at a corporation engaged in developing new species. Against company policy, she takes one home as a gift for her teenage son, Joe.

Feel like watching a film about plants coming to kill us all? Then do I have the movie for you! The last film I saw at Cannes 2019 could not have been a more fitting one: a ridiculous but lovable British film starring Ben Whishaw and Emily Beecham. (Who won Best Actress at Cannes) Its premise is exactly why I was at the festival: a film like this may never see the light of day in Cincinnati - after all, who wants to watch a film about plants that infect your mind when you smell them - but the ride here is about as zany as you would respect. These plants (the Little Joe's, and yes I could not shake the, "You can trust a working Joe" out of my head…. Thanks, Alien.) turn you into a hilariously cheesy 1950s infomercial when you smell them, and make you even willing to kill for them because what else would you expect a plant to do? That said, the film is rooted in a good performance from its lead and some utterly hilarious dialogue between her and the people infected. (Though, I'm not entirely sure if this hilarity was intentional or not.) I think this film, like Wounds, is destined for cult status, despite not having the same unbelievable star power behind it. (Seriously, Armie Hammer / Dakota Johnson / Zazie Baetz. Why.) But this is a fun group watch, perfect for a night in with friends and checking out the most ridiculous thing you can find on Netflix. It does have something of a meaning behind it, however this meaning is largely lost at the hands of the fact that it is, you know, about plants. Trying to infect people's minds. Also, the score was COMPLETELY out of place. There's like this weird Oriental score that compliments the film, yet the film doesn't feel at all Asian outside of this so it just feels misused. Yay, cultural appropriation! It's worth a group watch on a Netflix + drinks kind of night, but that's it. You will be pretty miserable if you watch this by yourself. Fair warning. 

My Number: 4/10

Chambre 212 (2019): After 20 years of marriage, Maria decides to leave. She moves to the room 212 of the hotel opposite her marital home. From there, Maria can scrutinize her apartment, her husband, her wedding. She wonders if she has made the right decision.

​So before I talk about this film, let me set the scene for you: I'm exhausted. It's before 8 AM, and I'm about to head into a 3 hour Terrence Malick film. I, like any rational human being, need coffee. So, I go to a cafe while my friend / Cannes roommate Ben waits in line for A Hidden Life. Unexpectedly, the organizers let those waiting for the Malick film in a full 45 minutes before the film was scheduled to begin. (Usually, the festival would be "on time" if it let people queuing into a film 15 minutes before it starts.) I miss my friend Ben by less than 60 seconds. Then, the theater filled up 5 people in front of me. I am shook. In my dejected state, with no Malick in my future, I search the Cannes program for a film to watch in its stead, and stumble upon Chambre 212. And I'm glad I did.

This lovely little French film comes from director Christophe Honoré, an established Frenchman most recognized for 2018's Sorry Angel, and, while I haven't seen that film, this one is incredibly funny and touching. A wonderful little date night film, Chambre 212 follows a married couple as they struggle through the strains of marriage after the husband discovers the wife has been cheating on him. The film takes place over a single night, with Christmas Carol-esque visions coming to both characters throughout the brisk 86 minute runtime. The story is a clever one, so despite each character coping with the trauma in their own way, the characters involved feel small and intimate. (Thanks to the fact that their stories often overlap.) There are some antics and hijinks, and physics are thrown completely out the window, (so expect nothing) as the film flies through its setpieces. It's one of those films that you thoroughly enjoy while it's playing, but the second it's done you forget about it because it's not saying much that's particularly resonating. But that's ok! It makes you feel good, while not also trying to be "important"! (Cough cough, GREEN BOOK) The film really lacks an overall cohesive message as the tone is somewhat inconsistent. And there's entirely too much drama between the visions each have, which is cute but adds little to the overall narrative. Which, coincidentally, sums up Chambre 212: very cute, but doing little to resonate as soon as it's over.

My Number 7/10

Il Traditore (2019): The real life of Tommaso Buscetta the so called "boss of the two worlds", first mafia informant in Sicily 1980's.

Woof. Then there's this film from legendary Italian director Marco Bellocchino. A film which plays very differently for Italian audiences, but sadly for a lowly American such as myself…. It was 145 minutes of nothing. 145 minutes of frustrating inconsistency. The film finds its stride in the second act, as the main protagonist Tommaso Buscetta (Pierfrancesco Favino) faces a serious of high production budget court battles and actor Favino really hits his stride. However, there also a first and third act. And both of them are like a clusterbomb of incoherency. The first act in particular features some of the worst editing I've ever seen, (Bohemian Rhapsody ain't got nothing on this) with random characters being introduced and then killed moments later with no rhyme, reason, or explanation. Yes, I'm just as tired of films that hand fist dialogue to you as the next person, but there's still a line somewhere. A line this film flies by within the first 5 minutes. I'd love to see someone count up how many characters were introduced and killed in the first act because the answer may be over 9000. But, there are some engaging court scenes here in the remaining two acts. A bright spot in an otherwise dark cloud of a film, and for us American plebians who don't truly appreciate the character and trial scenes at hand, there won't be much here to keep you engaged. Solid pass.

My Number: 4/10

The Lighthouse (2019): The story of an aging lighthouse keeper named Old who lives in early 20th-century Maine.

So I really wanted to sit with this film, so I’m actually writing this review over a week later. The fact that this film has resonated with me as much as it has is yet another testament to how strong it really is!

The latest (and greatest) work from director Robert Eggers (who’s first work, The Witch, also garnered widespread critical acclaim) comes in the form of a crazy, mesmerizing, polarizing 35 mm film, in black & white, with a 1.19:1 movetone aspect ratio starring Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe. Because how else are you going to follow up a film about a 17th century New Englad folktale? The Lighthouse is a wild ride - a fascinating character study wrapped up in a psychological thriller - that needs to be seen to be believed. I really don’t want to talk about any of the inner workings of this film, because the less you know about it going in, the better it will be. I’ll just say there’s no doubt this will be a polarizing film - A24 snatched it up and is gearing it up for an awards season release, and I can see why. This film lives and dies off the performances of Thomas Wake (Willem Dafoe) and Ephraim Winslow. (Robert Pattinson) Their hilariously bipolar relationship is the foundation of this film. Dafoe sports one of the thickest sea-worthy accents you’ll ever hear, (further cementing him as one of the best character actors alive) while Pattinson’s near demonic presence can be felt regardless of whether he’s actually on screen or not. Both of these performances are a masterclass, and the events that unfold between them are not only memorable and iconic, (the freaking seagull, man) they vary wildly across the emotional spectrum. The strongest part of this film (and what will also be the most polarizing aspect of it) is its unpredictability - even as the credits roll the viewer will struggle to discern what was real and what was a figment of the mind. But it really is wildly refreshing to see a film of this ambiguity be made in the American cinema system, and it firmly establishes Robert Eggers as one of the most intellectual and cunning directors in Hollywood today.

My Number: 9.5/10

Our group queuing for The Lighthouse. at the Director's Fortnight We waited nearly 3 hours to see this incredible film!

With two days under our belt, we once again celebrated by drinking cheap wine on one of Cannes's beautiful Mediterranean beaches. Not a bad way to wind down, right? On to the final day, which coincided with the final day of the festival itself.

Matthias & Maxime (2019): A drama focusing on a group of friends in their late 20s.

My first In Competition screening at Cannes goes to visionary young filmmaker (and actor) Xavier Dolan's latest work. This is may first experience with Dolan, a young Canadian filmmaker known for his heartfelt, genuine, and emotionally moving stories. Matthias & Maxime had the potential to be another such entry, but it falls short focusing entirely too much time on its "Will they or won't they?" Premise. The story focuses on two men coming to grips with their sexuality with the impending departure of one of them, but most of the film centers around their individual struggles to come to grips with their sexuality, versus discovering it together. This approach, certainly from the eyes of a straight white filmmaker, is a frustrating one, despite the fact that the story told is fairly engaging. The strength of this film is in the bonds of its friendships, both with the title characters and the people around them. Everyone feels fleshed out and personal, despite some only having 3 or 4 lines of dialogue. But, the decision to delegate this premise to a "Will they or won't they?" story with two gay characters for the majority (don't worry: a film showcasing what happens when you move past this quickly is forthcoming) makes this film feel lazily familiar, despite its strengths.

My Number: 6/10

Nina Wu (2019): Nina Wu, a girl who leaves small theatre company in the country for the big city in pursuit of her actress dream.

The first of several heartbreaking films today, Nina Wu is a Taiwanese film that follows its lead character through her struggle to make a film, promote said film, all while trying to rise above the horrific sexism and male dominance of the film industry. In 2019, it is a depressingly relevant film, with a lot of emotionally devastating moments at the expense of the protagonist. Ke-Xi Wu, who plays the film's title character, (and also co-wrote the screenplay) is exceptional. Easily the best performance I've seen at Cannes to this point, (I'm writing this review Friday AM, with about 5-6 films left to see) Ke-Xi Wu's performance is raw, enduring, pragmatic, and demanding…. And that's before you even consider the heartbreaking events that happen to her throughout the film. From the first moment, I was sucked in by this performance, a performance that will at least endure with me for the rest of the festival. (Of course, it has nothing on Armie Hammer in Wounds, but that goes without saying.) That said, I do believe director Midi Z was slightly too ambitious with the overall narrative, as there's a few too many points left unexplained and simply untenable at points. But, the further I've separated myself from this film, the less this ambition has bothered me. Third act issues aside, (that's where many of the zealousness occurs) this film is good, maybe even great, held together by a powerful performance and a wild ride. 

My Number: 7.5/10

Sorry We Missed You (2019): A hard-up delivery driver and his wife struggle to get by in modern-day England.

I'm moving right along with these reviews. (Can you tell I found a cafe to catch up at?) It continues to be Friday AM, and to this point the latest film from Ken Loach is my number one film at the festival so far. Sorry We Missed You is an emotional trainwreck, a devastating look at a British blue collar family working 90 hour weeks while struggling to keep the apartment together. Its completely captivating from the first moment to its last and the only film that's elicited a solid ugly cry from yours truly. (Though that may be because I have a cold, dead heart.) Ken Loach's strength, similar to Xavier Dolan, is in the genuineness of his characters. And because Loach keeps his story deeply intimate, the emotion payoffs and heartbreaks are felt that much more. The acting is exceptional, with Ricky, (Kris Hitchen) Abbie, (Debbie Honeywood) Seb, (Rhys Stone) and Lisa (Katie Proctor) all excelling. They all benefit from a master auteur (Ken Loach has won multiple Palme d'Or's in his career, and may be hoisting another tomorrow) impeccable directing: every scene, every cut, every shot feels deliberate and intentional. The only complaint I had was some of the dialogue felt forced: there were a few moments of hand-fisting dialogue (seemingly) to ensure the viewer knew what was going on. But these errors were few and far between. This British film is well worth your team and my first must-see recommendation of the festival. Go see it when it comes to theaters later this year.

END OF FESTIVAL UPDATE
I wanted to add a quick blurb on this review, because while films like Portrait of a Lady on Fire, The Lighthouse, and Parasite have stuck with me long after the credits finished rolling, this film has not. That’s not to take away from the harrowing events depicted here at all. This is a marvelous film, but it’s also a surprisingly fleeting one.

My Number: 9/10

Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019): On an isolated island in Brittany at the end of the eighteenth century, a female painter is obliged to paint a wedding portrait of a young woman.

ALMOST not to be outdone by Sorry We Missed You is the film Matthias & Maxime should have been. A powerful queer drama that spends far more time focusing on its pragmatic characters discovering each other and their sexualities together than separately, all wrapped up in the best filmmaking I've seen at Cannes so far. The actual craft here is incredible: think Call Me By Your Name but with a vastly superior story. (Yes, I know.) The cinematography is second-to-none, with one scene in particular around a fire between our main protagonists standing out. (And also EASILY the best scene I've seen in a film since the beach sequence of Roma.) How the main characters interact with each other is wonderfully and masterfully represented visually by director/writer Céline Sciamma and her cinematographer, Claire Mathon. This film, starring women, filmed by women, with almost no male characters whatsoever, (I'm fairly certain there's exactly one line from a man the whole film, and it's a rather dunce-looking dude saying "Bonjour!") is cinematic briliance. While it spends some time on the "Will they or won't they?" Aspect, (about its only notable fault) once Marianne (Noémie Merlant) and Héloïse do begin their relationship Sciamma turns it up to 11 with a mesmerizing film. I also have to focus on Héloïse for a moment. There's a certain gravitas to her that is absolutely stunning. From her 🔥 costumes (well done, costume department) to her unwavering personality, she is probably the best written character I've seen at the festival so far. Marianne is great too, but Héloïse is straight 🔥. My second must-see recommendation from Cannes, I can certainly see why some are calling it the best film this festival has to offer. And if it were it not for the overlong "Will they or won't they?" Shenanigans, I'd probably agree with them.

END OF CANNES UPDATE
So, I must say, the further I've gotten away from this film, the more I have fallen in love. Yes, it spends a hair too long on the somewhat ordinary opening, but after that this film is a legend. It's resonated with me more than any other film at this festival, and is safely my number 1 film I saw at Cannes 2019.
​
My Number: 10/10

The Dead Don't Die (2019): The peaceful town of Centerville finds itself battling a zombie horde as the dead start rising from their graves.

Jim Jarmusch opened the Cannes film festival with something of thud, as his latest film, a zombie apocalypse film with a deadpan delivery style that is funny to a fault. While the film certainly has some wonderful moments, particularly between Cliff (Bill Murray) and Ronnie. (Adam Driver) If anything should be taken from this film, Hollywood needs to do a Hobbs & Shaw kind of team-up between these two, as their hilarious chemistry was about the only thing keeping this film together. The rest of this movie lacks anything resembling a heart, as it feels like a mishmosh of characters (played by recognizable yet random actors like Steve Buscemi, Selena Gomez, Danny Glover, Tilda Swinton, and Tom Waits) thrown together with little cohesion or comprehension. Some of the jokes land, but when they don’t you will sit aimlessly, wondering when the film is going to come to an unceremonious end.

My Number: 4/10

Wounds (2019): Disturbing and mysterious things begin to happen to a bartender in New Orleans after he picks up a phone left behind at his bar.

My first thought after seeing this film was simple. "What the F did I just watch and why did I love it so much?" A film that would make Tommy Wiseau (The Room) proud, Wounds is from director Babak Anvari (who opened the film and clearly didn't know what was going on, either) and somehow stars Armie Hammer, Dakota Johnson, and Zazie Baetz. It has cult status written all over it, because this thing is absolutely ridiculous. Armie Hammer is screen chewing to no freaking end while Dakota Johnson is just sitting in the corner staring at a computer monitor for some unknown reason, (research!) and Zazie Baetz is just….. there. The film, similar to The Room, turns into an ironic comedy, and it turns out that's not a bad thing. The story is ridiculous, the acting is over-the-top, but I still had a total blast watching it. As I said: this film is destined for cult status if it rises above the noise on Netflix. It just might take a few years for people to recognize its unabashed greatness. Also, this is already becoming my most talked about film at this festival, despite its terribleness…. It's that good.

My Number: 1/10, but that's a The Room kind of 1/10

Les Particules (2019): As winter sets in and P.A. sees the world shifting around him, he starts to observe strange phenomena in the environment. The changes are imperceptible at first, but gradually his whole world seems to be on the brink.

This is the first forray into fiction from documentary director Blaise Harrison. I open my thoughts with that because it shows. This film features a group of first time actors and at points they are definitely strained by the demands of the roles asked of them. The overall premise is wild: mix Minding the Gap with a science-fiction premise. The film is very scatterbrained and plays its unusual premise fast and loose, which certainly reduces the overall experience. That said, it's unorthodox and genuine, with every character feeling human and grounded. Even if it struggles to stay on topic at points, (and maybe this is simply the result of how few foreign films I've actually seen) its unusual visuals and storytelling style were enough to keep me entertained.

My Number: 3/10

High Life (2019): A father and his daughter struggle to survive in deep space where they live in isolation.

I don't know if any American studio other than A24, with the backing of a recognizable star in Robert Pattinson (thanks, Twilight - never forget) would've made a film as eclectic and outlandish as this. A film set almost entirely in space, with an intimate cast, and a wild premise set the stage for this very sci-fi-y sci-fi film. Robert Pattinson (Monte) shines in his passion project directed by Claire Denis that is one of those films that throws everything against the wall in an attempt to see what sticks. Obviously, in a film as whimsical as this, not every idea lands, but it's still refreshing to see a film go this insane in its premise. Unfortunately, the largest part of this film is also its weakest: the crew storyline is rather bland compared to Robert Pattison's deeply personal and genuine space struggle. But, depressingly, most of this film is spent focusing on a crew of strangers, with a criminal history, paired together in a confined area for years in space, with a predictable result. While it's admittedly refreshing to see a premise like “death row inmates given the chance to earn their freedom by embarking on a suicide space mission” executed in a film, it's nowhere near as compelling as Monte's struggle on the station for decades while trying to raise a daughter. However, those few moments we do see of Monte's are easily the best moments of the film, and tease an incredibly intriguing premise that could have been. In short, this is a unique film that leaves its original premise mostly on the curb for a stereotypical “last man standing” story, but still delivers some good visuals and hints of greatness throughout. Close, but no cigar.

My Number: 6/10

Pet Sematary (2019): Dr. Louis Creed and his wife, Rachel, relocate from Boston to rural Maine with their two young children. The couple soon discover a mysterious burial ground hidden deep in the woods near their new home.

Why does this movie exist? The Stephen King relaunch train continues with this motionless, passionless, soulless reboot of the 1983 novel / 1989 film that has absolutely no reason for existence outside of some executive somewhere watched It make a bunch of money and thought, "Oh, we can do that too!!!" There's no heart in this film. Pet Sematary goes through all the stereotypical motions of a horror film, skirts around the only interesting thing in its premise, (the idea of letting go and moving on) all for the sake of having another cheesy jump scare. I haven't read the original novel, but I would assume it delved into the more interesting aspects of this premise, which was left on the cutting room floor here because look! Let's have another drawn out sequence leading to a jump scare! Yaaaaaa! This film isn't even worth it once it hits streaming services. 2017's It caught lightning in a bottle, and if this attempted reboot is any indication…. That lightning is not being replicated any time soon. Avoid like the plague.

My Number: 2.5/10

Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile (2019): A courtroom frenzy ensues and sweeps 1970s America when a young single mother meets Ted Bundy.

They should've called this the Zac Efron show. He's the main reason this film exists. A passion project of Efron's made some waves at Sundance before being purchased by Netflix. However, a gripping performance from Efron falls on mostly deft ears as the rest of this film is subpar at best. Lily Collins is wonderful, but her character, Liz Kendall, is a rather poorly written character, despite Efron claiming that the story is (somehow) mostly about her. While there are a few great scenes between Kendall and Ted Bundy, (Efron) most notably the film's dramatic closing scene, most of the time I felt Bundy stole every aspect of the movie, much like how his real life persona dominated everything around him. It's frustrating to me to see a man as repulsive as Ted Bundy, an individual who brutally killed 30+ people, portrayed in such a positive light in 2019. While it's somewhat obvious to say, "There's no way Bundy would be portrayed like this if he was a black man," it's still genuinely frustrating to have scenes in this 2019 film where women are dreaming over Bundy, (one unfortunate character basically throws herself at Bundy later on in the film) with little more than a grim placeholder of the carnage he inflicted at film's end. In short…. Efron's great, his portrayal of Bundy is uncanny, but it falls short because of its uncomfortably positive portrayal of the convicted serial killer. But it's not bad, so if you like these sort of films you won't regret flipping it on as you chill.

My Number: 5/10

Pokemon Detective Pikachu (2019): In a world where people collect Pokémon to do battle, a boy comes across an intelligent talking Pikachu who seeks to be a detective.

​This film is a decent, if flawed, proof-of-concept film. A live action Pokemon movie that's secretly a modern day film noir story, Pokemon: Detective Pikachu is ahead of its time on the tech, (give it another 5 years, people) but is still mildly charming and surprisingly engaging with its somewhat noir-y detective story and wonderful chemistry between Pikachu (Ryan Reynolds) and Tim Goodman. (Justice Smith) But I couldn't help but be distracted by the visuals at multiple points. Visuals which were…. Muddy, at points. There were a lot of "establishing shots" that showed off the Pokemon in the world, and idk why director Rob Letterman did that because those shots really showed the limits of this technology and how far we still have to go. That said, the film is still lovely, with an uplifting message and a fun little journey between its leads. Will it stick with you? No. I started forgetting about the film the second I left the theater. But is it a fun time? ………...yes? There are worse ways to spend your time, but I do think this film is destined to be a Netflix and chill kind of experience. Wait until then to go see it.

My Number: 6/10

Aladdin (2019): A kind-hearted street urchin and a power-hungry Grand Vizier vie for a magic lamp that has the power to make their deepest wishes come true.

Do I have to talk about Aladdin? Because I really don't want to. The latest installment in Disney's live action remakes continues the trend of these films being soulless husks, existing for the sole reason to be cash grabs for the supreme mouse overlord.  I love Aladdin: as a kid it was one of my favorite Disney animated films. I can recall dozens of times singing along to wonderful songs like "Prince Ali," "Arabian Nights," and, of course, "Friend Like Me." But this live-action remake takes any sparks created by the original and throws it out them out the window in favor of..... Will Smith? Really? That's your replacement for one of the most iconic performances in Disney animated history? Will Smith? Look. Will Smith is a great actor. He's done great things before, and he'll do great things again. But the original Aladdin is propped up by the exemplary greatness of Robin Williams, in a voice role which proved to be one of the most influential (for better or worse) in the history of animated films, and Will Smith..... just..... can't..... do..... it. The film is sunk then and there, but it doesn't help that Aladdin (Mena Massoud) is annoyingly charismatic, the zaniness / flamboyantry of Jafar (Marwan Kenzari) is all but gone,  and the blatant sexism littered throughout the original Aladdin is still scattered about here. (No, giving Jasmine a new song where she says she's her own person does not automatically fix everything.) The new music is forgettable, the renditions of the original content is mediocre, (why oh WHY did you have Will Smith sing "Arabian Nights"??) and only once did I even feel like we got a chance to hear one of these actors actually flaunt their singing voice. (Well done in "Speechless (Part 2)," Naomi Scott.) TL;DR - this movie sucks, and is not worth your money. Go see Rocketman instead.

My Number: 3/10

Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019): The crypto-zoological agency Monarch faces off against a battery of god-sized monsters, including the mighty Godzilla, who collides with Mothra, Rodan, and his ultimate nemesis, the three-headed King Ghidorah.

Ugh. Speaking of films that are soulless, cash-grabbing husks.... I present to you Godzilla: King of the Monsters. But, unlike Aladdin, I actually wanted to like this film. I really tried to - I even went so far as to watch this film in IMAX because who doesn't want to see a big budget Godzilla movie? I giggled like a kid in a candy store the first time we heard Godzilla roar back in 2014. Well, not when it's made like this. Much of this film is spent developing characters that you don't care about with hand-fisted dialogue being rammed down your throat, with a massive cast of A-listers that are either given nothing to do, (see: the token Chinese star, Ziya Zhang, or freaking Sally Hawkins) or simply don't care. (See: Vera Farmiga and Kyle Chandler) Why are we here? To see Godzilla beat up some monsters. Specifically, King Ghidorah. How often does this happen in this 131 minute film? Twice. Freaking. Twice. And both times it's in the dark, in the rain, and shot with uncomfortable close-ups because Legendary / Warner Brothers clearly didn't feel like spending money on the action sequences. Yes, this makes the film feel both cheap and meaningless, as much of the human dialogue is a complete waste of time. This film is the Pacific Rim: Uprising in Warner Brothers' MonsterVerse: a film called Godzilla where everyone all but forgets that Godzilla is supposed to be the focal point. Yes, the child in me did manage to have a bit of fun in the final battle between Godzilla and King Ghidorah, aka WHAT WE PAID TO SEE, but this brief ounce of enjoyment is not enough to offset the 90+ minutes of film that proceeded it, the wasted A-list cast, (seriously: how do you waste Millie Bobby Brown, Ken Watanabe, and O'Shea Jackson Jr.? HOW? Though I will say it's fun to see Twyin Lannister make his way to earth) and totally obnoxious force fed dialogue that we get all throughout this trainwreck. Stay away and wait for Godzilla vs. Kong next year. Please be good....

My Number: 3.5/10 

Velvet Buzzsaw (2019): A supernatural force sets out to exact revenge against art profiteers attempting to exploit a series of paintings by an unknown artist.

There's something to be said about throwing everything and the kitchen sink against the wall and seeing what sticks. But, somewhere among the weeds, there's a line. Velvet Buzzsaw blooooows through any semblance of unspoken line and creates a wildly incoherent yet awkwardly enjoyable horror flick from writer/director Dan Gilroy. (Who last teamed up with star Jake Gyllenhaal in the criminally underappreciated Nightcrawler.) This movie is just that: wild. I can't help but respect Netflix for allowing a premise this absurd and executed in such an unorthodox manner to even be made. Maybe some will say this film is ahead of its time. Buuuuuuut I'm not one of them. Is it a statement about the hilariously elitist art world? Is it a film about a critic struggling with his own acceptance and place in the very world he critics? An artist struggling with staying inventive while keeping his alcoholism at bay? A gallery owner's desperate attempts to stay relevant while fighting a vendetta with a competitor? WHO THE F CARES BECAUSE THESE PAINTINGS KILL PEOPLE. If you go in looking for a mindless popcorn flick disguised as a pseudo-horror movie, you probably won't be disappointed. But that's about the only thing you should be looking for when you add Velvet Buzzsaw to your Netflix queue.

​My Number: (A wild) 5/10

High Flying Bird (2019): A sports agent pitches a rookie basketball client on an intriguing and controversial business opportunity during a lockout.

​Steven Soderbergh does it again! The director of Ocean's Eleven returns to the roots of his Sex, Lies, and Videotape debut with a stirring character drama wrapped up in the 2011 NBA lockout, shot entirely on iPhones because why not? If it worked in Unsane it'll work here, right? Well Soderbergh and his team have been perfecting this low budget iPhone shooting method and it continues to get better, even if it is admittedly distracting at times. But the writing is the foundation here. The script is great, painting a compelling picture of lead character Ray Burke, (André Holland) and a terrific leading cast help make this film as engaging as it is interesting. While the cinematography is distracting at times, the Netflix factor plays in well here, thanks to the fact that you'll be watching this on a smaller screen. No doubt watching this on a big screen would be a detriment to the experience. Also, I love Zazie Baetz. She's wonderful and really needs to be in everything. TL;DR - if you like basketball or really any movies about sports and the behind-the-scenes business maneuvers that take place in that realm, move High Flying Bird to the top of your Netflix queue.

My Number: 7/10

Gloria Bell (2019): A free-spirited woman in her 50s seeks out love at L.A. dance clubs.

Gloria Bell is not a flashy film. But it accomplishes exactly what it sets out to do. A charming little rom-com that's a vehicle for Julianne Moore to remind us all that she's absolutely lovely. Director Sebastian Lelio (director of A Fantastic Woman and ironically is remaking is own film here for American audiences) hits every single note you want to see hit in an indie film that takes absolutely zero risks throughout its 104 minute runtime. Gloria is a strong female lead, and she's played by the always wonderful Julianne Moore. But….. I'm struggling to figure out why this film exists. As I mentioned before, director Sebastián Lelio is remaking his own 2013 film Gloria, so I'm a little confused why this remake is coming so quickly afterwards. And from the same person. And, throughout the 102 minute runtime, this question was never really answered. Yes, it's lovely. Yes, it's great to see a rom-com with a middle aged woman as its lead, but there doesn't seem to be much rhyme or reason to why this film exists beyond that. It's a nice date night film to watch on Netflix from the comfort of your own home, but that's about it.

My Number: 6/10

Dumbo (2019): A young elephant, whose oversized ears enable him to fly, helps save a struggling circus, but when the circus plans a new venture, Dumbo and his friends discover dark secrets beneath its shiny veneer.

So I've largely avoided these live action Disney remakes, and after making an exception for Tim Burton's Dumbo…. I can see why. This soulless film is a grim reminder that the once prestigious filmmaker left his talent back in the 90s. Dumbo tells the classic Disney story with little additional substance, and I found myself struggling to grapple with the very question of its existence. The entire cast was #InItForThePaycheck, with the notable exception of Collin Farrell, who actually can't help but be good in everything he's in. The film fumbles its way from one poorly-lit scene to the next, with its many Tim Burton-isms unwelcomed at best and downright disruptive at worst. I also had the displeasure of watching this film in 3D and was painstakingly reminded why it's a TERRIBLE way to watch a film. The additional depth of field does little to offset the headaches created by the 3D glasses and effects as your eyes have to squint at times just to try and understand what's on screen. I think the 3D also affected the lighting as the film seemed to be unnecessarily dark. Could've just been bad lighting, but I don't know for sure. Either way, the only thing that saved this for me was the company I watched the film with. And thank God for that, because otherwise I don't think I would've made it through. Avoid like the plague!

My Number: 3/10

Shazam! (2019): We all have a superhero inside us, it just takes a bit of magic to bring it out. In Billy Batson's case, by shouting out one word - SHAZAM. - this streetwise fourteen-year-old foster kid can turn into the grown-up superhero Shazam.

So, here's a surprising thing I noticed about halfway through Shazam!: I was having a good time. DC has been on an under-the-radar (and shockingly) solid run with its standalone films recently, and Shazam! (mostly) keeps that trend going. Its villain is hilariously forgettable outside of the fact that it's Mark Strong being Mark Strong, and the arc for the main character is a bit fluffy with an overly convenient resolution, but its lighthearted nature and genuinely funny jokes make it feel more like a decent comedy with fighting than an action flick. While I'll still go for Aquaman or Wonder Woman if I had to pick a recent DC standalone film, I still found myself having a good time with this one. Maybe it's partially because I had absolutely zero expectations for this film. Heck, I was bracing for the worst, actually. But Zachary Levi's playful, entertaining performance as the title hero really kept me in this throughout the runtime. Which was needed because this villain was HILARIOUSLY awful: a single moment in the character's life meant to justify his entire cornerstone for being. It's not good, and Mark Strong phones it in with his stereotypical British villain portrayal. I did enjoy the foster home aspect and the rest of the family's relationship to Billy Baston, which felt a little Shoplifters-esque to me, (now the cornerstone for any family-oriented film) but the film plays out almost exactly how you'd expect it to. And by the end you still find yourself watching two god-like beings battle each other to a pulp, just in the air instead of with a ridiculous amount of CGI-lightning. But.... there are definitely worse ways to spend your time at the movies right now.

My Number: 6/10

The Guilty (2018): A police officer assigned alarm dispatch duty enters a race against time when he answers an emergency call from a kidnapped woman.

​I'm writing this review a solid 3+ months after I actually saw the film, but it's truly resonated with me in the months that have followed, and combined with the fact that it's on the shortlist for Best Foreign Film nominees at the Oscars (even though it ultimately wasn't nominated) I decided to briefly talk about it. What a debut feature from first-time filmmaker Gustav Möller. (Who I met in Palm Springs last month. Not to brag or anything...) The Guilty is boldly original and so effing tense despite its simple, intimate set and premise. The entire film takes place in two rooms, similar to A24's suspenseful thriller Locke (which is also amazing and is available to watch on Netflix RIGHT NOW) but turned up to 11. At least Locke had a few establishing shots to ease the feeling of tight spaces. Here, Gustav Möller makes the intentional decision to never have an establishing shot or any shot whatsoever outside of these two rooms. The result is a tense, never-ending feeling of claustrophobia that helps to ratchet up the tension even more. By not having any shots outside of these two rooms, your imagination goes to work on what is happening in the phone calls being shown. It's extraordinary that this style works, particularly in the hands of a novice filmmaker. Though it doesn't work all the time..... the few moments where the film stops to let you take a breath could've really used an exterior shot versus a slightly awkward gradual push-in on Asger Holm's (Jakob Cedergren) face. Even though it is a nice, chiseled face. (Stares off into the distance) Anywho, if you're looking for an absurdly tense, edge-of-your-seat thriller featuring a good-looking dude you get to look at for 85 minutes, this is the film for you. Cannot wait to see what Gustav Möller does next!

​My Number: 8/10

Cold War (2018): A passionate love story between two people of different backgrounds and temperaments, who are fatefully mismatched and yet condemned to each other.

​OH. MY. GOD. This movie is spell-binding. An intoxicating Polish love epic set in the backdrop of the Cold War, in breathtaking B&W, from director Pawel Pawlikowski. The story is loosely based on Pawlikowski's parents and shares a surprising amount of similarities with Alfonso Cuarón's Roma. What's amazing is there are bits and pieces here that actually do surpass Roma. Cold War's story is similar, but it's told in a far more intimate (and thus less distracting at times) way. That said....the ending of Roma is simply masterful, whereas the ending of Cold War is rather abrupt and unfulfilling. As in it basically just ends without warning. Which almost makes the rest of the film feel rather unimportant and without purpose. Almost. Because, rushed ending aside, this film is a mesmerizing masterpiece. Zula is a hypnotic character, and masterfully portrayed by Joanna Kulig. Her presence is felt regardless of whether she's on screen or not, but when she is she steals the show with a level of grandeur that is haaaaaard to come by in cinema. Along side her is Wiktor. (played by Tomasz Kot a man cast straight out of a Chanel commercial) He's good, (something of a Paul Sparks lite for American cinema-goers) but pales in comparison to the sheer force of will that is Zula. The suave of this movie is indelible, and the black & white helps to hammer the beautiful, romantic aesthetic home. I wish my life were half as charismatic as either Zula's or Wiktor's. Their chemistry is so natural and tenable, and the ways their lives intertwine is fascinating to watch unfold. Were it not for the abrupt ending, this would easily receive a perfect score. Either way, it's worth seeing, and should be on Amazon Prime in the very near future. (March 22, to be exact.) Do NOT miss it!

My Number: 9.5/10

Burning (2018): ​Jong-su bumps into a girl who used to live in the same neighborhood as him, who asks him to look after her cat while on a trip to Africa. When back, she introduces Ben, a mysterious guy she met there, who confesses his secret hobby.

Burning is a rare film that intentionally raises more questions than it answers. Its tension is contrived from its ambiguity, which resonated with me long after the end credits rolled. The core cast, Jong-su, (Ah-in Yoo) Ben, (Steven Yeun) and Shin Hae-mi (first-time actress Jong-seo Jun) are wonderful together, even if Hae-mi's character doesn't have a whole lot to do. Steven Yeun, though, steals the show. His performance as the mysterious, Gatsby-like Ben is felt regardless of whether he's on screen or not, similar to the character Zula in Cold War. His performance has a certain enigmatic vitality to it: the story focuses on Jong-su yet you never stop feeling Ben's persona and influence. The awkward Jong-su is totally absorbed by Ben's charisma, and it leads to one of the better conclusions I've seen this year. Unfortunately, there are points where this dynamic works against the film: there were times that scenes lingered a bit too long and we focused a bit too much time on (intentionally) less interesting Jong-su. However, the fact that I wanted to see Ben on screen more goes to show just how terrific a performance that is. The unrivaled loser here, as hinted before, is Hae-mi. She has very little to do outside of "be the girl caught in the middle," and she is not treated particularly well by director/writer Lee Chang-Dong. For a film that is supposed to be about a love triangle between a woman and two guys, hardly any time is spent fleshing out the woman in the middle. End of the day, the film is still very worth seeing thanks to the terrific performance of Steven Yeun, and will almost certainly help propel him into the mainstream of Hollywood in the very near future, if he's not there already. 

My Number: 7/10

Dogman (2018): Marcello, a small and gentle dog groomer, finds himself involved in a dangerous relationship of subjugation with Simone, a former violent boxer who terrorizes the entire neighborhood.

Geez! Speaking of terrific performances, let's talk about Marcello (Marcello Fonte) in Dogman! Another performance raking in the film festival awards for Best Actor, Marcello is essentially Jong-su from Burning, but with the awkward inability to figure out how to, you know, do life things, dialed up to eleven. His ineptitude is conveyed so well in a performance that is anything but suave and charismatic. It's the polar opposite, actually. And yet, I found myself rooting for this person who could probably best be described as "a dunce." I found myself wanting to yell at the screen in angst as Marcello affiliated with a man who's essentially the devil incarnate in Simon. (Edoardo Pesce) Whenever Marcello tries to be assertive, he is immediately beaten down by the terrifying giant and villain of this film. It's absolutely harrowing, and even though you know the inevitable conclusion that it's barreling towards, it's still captivating and will have you on the edge of your seat. GOSH! Marcello! Why did you think Simon would ever apologize to you??? UGH. It is a frustrating as it is gratifying to watch the events of this film unfold, and to play with such wildly different emotions goes to show not just the skill of actor Marcello Fonte, but the skill of director/writer Matte Garrone. If you're looking for an edge-of-your-seat game of cat and mouse, look no further. But, fair warning, the final 10 minutes are rather.....unorthodox for American moviegoers. (And linger about 5 minutes too long.) But it's still a great and captivating film showcasing a classic, if unorthodox, struggle between good and evil.

​My Number: 8/10

Capernaum (2018): While serving a five-year sentence for a violent crime, a 12-year-old boy sues his parents for neglect.

This film is devastating. You have been warned: it will drive a sledgehammer through your very core. It's been a solid 30 minutes since I stepped out of the theater as I write this and I'm still shaking and picking up my scattered emotional pieces. Director Nadine Labaki crafts a devastatingly vivid portrait of a 12-year old child, Zain, as he struggles to simply survive in Lebanon. The actor who plays Zain, Zain Al Rafeea, himself a Syrian refugee, carries most of this film. Many of these scenes feature just him and other people younger than him, yet he plays the part like a seasoned vet. Which is incredible since he's, you know, 12. He's relatable, grounded, and genuine. It's a stunning casting choice from Nadine Labaki and honestly one of the better overall performances of 2018. Other films have died at the hands of asking their child actors to do too much, but Zain Al Rafeea was up to the challenge. And is propped up by a strong and powerful screenplay, too. Be prepared to ROCK the ugly cry, because you will be doing that a lot. I wasn't a huge fan of the filmmaking, though. There's a lot of hand cam / shaky cam used here, and y'all know how I feel about that. But the filmmaking is nowhere near enough of a detriment to bring down the overall experience. This gets a strong recommendation from me, an eye-opening, devastating film from a country featuring refugees certain people (who sadly have entirely too much power right now) have shuddered to think about and have actively campaigned against. Seriously: don't miss it. I will buy your ticket to see it or rent it for you.

My Number: 8.5/10​